Well, Nopkins, when you're feeling a little less burned out about the whole thing, I'd suggest sharing your new interpretation of "I'm not it/I'll never be sexy" with your w. You had one interpretation of that whole set of phrases originally. Now you have a new one. It may not be any more correct than the first one. Only your w can tell you. She can't tell you unless you share with her.

Good luck, MPT