Quote:

Life as physics is far too complicated to express in simple formula. Why would anyone think that a formulaic approach to emotion will solve all problems. A formulaic solution to any emotional issue is at best only moderately successful when viewed even in the most broad sense possible.


the five love languages is not a formula, it is simply learning to recognize what your love language is (I think it obvious here that us high-drive spouses aren't sex maniacs...our love language is physcial touch)

when you say you've filled her tank in many ways what you may fail to realize is that some of those ways are a waist of your time and effort...discovering the main one or two love languages might help save you alot of waisted energy.

here are the five...

physical touch
words of affirmation
gifts (giving and receiving)
acts of service
quality time

of course most of us don't fully know what our love language is if simply asked. The way the book is written is not formulaic as you suggest but simply a guide to help you figure out not only your spouses ll but also your own. sometimes what we think we want we discover we really don't.

I've discovered that my h is very much acts of service (geesh I've got an act I'd like to service him with ) and words of affirmation. h is very aware that he is an acts of service man, it is what he speaks...he is not however openly aware that he is a words of affirmation, he doesn't need to be...I know it and therefore I speak it to him. now getting him to understand that I appreciate his language but also have my own is another story but it's getting better...at least the quality time is improving...the rest will come with time.

I suppose I have a tad more patience with the issue given what I've been through with my m in the past two years...but then again considering what I've been through with my m in the past two years maybe I should give up too? nope not gonna happen. I know what it's like to be without him and not simply without "him". if ya get my drift.

LL