Well counseling today went ok. It was the afterward that sucked, again.
The counselor saw my angst when working through an issue & asked about it. H was 'oblivious' ...his words. He wouldn't deal with his upset about it in counseling, he nodded his head in all the right places, repeated all the right phrases, and smiled.
Then there was the car ride home... ugg.. I'm beginning to hate my car (& for those that know me that is saying alot).
When I tried validating & asking him to tell me more.. I got sarcasm, ridicule and eventually taking intimacies I have trusted with him about my 'bubble' vs. my 'wall' and proceeded to ridicule those.
I replied that "I hear you saying you think I should run behind my wall now, since you have poked holes in my bubble. Can you tell me how that makes you feel?"
His reply "like you're a f'ing bee-atch".. to which I replied, you think I'm an 'f-ing bee-atch". He grunted, I shut my eyes and pretended to take a nap (he was driving), while I sang myself songs in my head.
Such good communication, huh??
When we got to his house, he said.. "well I can expect you to not talk to me now for the next week for how I've treated you, right?"
I replied, I'm sorry you have that expetation, if that is what you want I'll try but it will make a long trip to drop S18 off at college on Wednesday (10 hours away)".
He grunted, said 'whatever' and walked into his house.
I drove home, greeted the kids, went to the driving range to hit golf balls, then went to Walmart for some oil for my car & bought myself a dozen white roses on a whim. I'm so worth it (& they were on sale!:)
A part of me is scared that I'm so detached from this latest outburst on his part.. another part of me says it's good. Time will tell.
Peace Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
