I am a bit bitter. As for hurt, not really, unless I want to be hurt at myself. Let me give you a true example.
Once upon a time, I started a business, and against my better judgement, and against counsel, I took on a partner and a venture capitalist. The relationship lasted a short while. During that time, I made a concerted effort to uphold my end of the contract. Their efforts were somewhat lacking on a continuous basis. I watched a business that would have enjoyed tremendous success, turn into a tax writeoff for a rich company. No matter how much I begged and pleaded, there was no saving it. Even then, I spent the last $40,000 I had trying to keep it afloat, and that was after all the other money and expertise I had invested.
The point of the story is obvious. No matter how hard a person tries, in a relationship, all parties have to do their part in order for the relationship to succeed. Only idiots stick it out once the chance for success drops to nill. Giving them one for the gipper makes for great movies. Real life is a wee bit different.
Besides all that, how the hell can someone work up a "want you" when they haven't had one for 27 years. I don't think I could. I don't think she will. I do think I should give her a rest from the drama. Intentional neglect or not, bad partner or good, I don't want to plead, scream or incite her to try harder, do better, or be different anymore.
It is a choice I have made. A change I will make, because it needs to be done. It should have been done 2 years into the relationship. Had there not been religious and social pressures at the time, it would have been done upon the discovery of faked orgasms. I knew plenty of women at the time that had no reason for pretense. I certainly never wore my manhood on my sleeve enough to justify the deception.
Quote: ----------- Although I am the HD spouse in my marriage I can't help but feel sorry for your W. I don't think its the fault of the ld spouse for the low drives but its the handling of it by both parties. Your W does sound to me like she is trying and so afraid of angering you. You need to let her know that what she is doing is not enough. You did not tell her this 25 years ago. Its never to late to tell her now. ------------
I feel sorry for her too. That is why I have withdrawn the pressure, decades of pressure. It is damn sad really. I can't tell her just yet. She would react to it by trying to fix it or falling apart. She can't fix it and I don't want to see her fall apart. I still love her.
So for now, I must just let it fade with a minimum of fuss. In a while, when she is more comfortable with the distance, then we can discuss dissolution. In the mean time, I have a lot of projects that are needing my attention. I also need to see to the logistical aspects of the situation.
I do hope that she can find someone that she fits. Maybe a low maintenance easy going kind of guy who will make few demands of her.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
