For the Guy with Kids and a WW 10

[Sugar and Spice]

It turns out that I like the Acqua di Gio and one more.

You and LIS are killing me....

BTW, try ebay. I always find good deals on perfume there, you never know.

And I think GBG is gaining more weight.

AHAHAHAHAHAAAA...so what goes around comes around and sticks to your ass? You cracked me UP!!!! Thanks!

Glad you read that the girlies and DS got off to school and that they are doing ok. Its always rough that first day, but they will have a ball. School is their refuge from all of this stuff.
I hear you about breaking down, Friday night was a tear fest for me, but I recovered. I'm glad you had a fun weekend, you certainly deserve it. You are really doing a good job. Its a struggle, but keeping your focus is important. The flirting did wonders for your PMA, so good for you. I have to get back to the gym, I've been such a slacker these last couple of weeks and I just don't feel good right now. Just wanted to stop by and let you know I haven't forgot about you, I've just been a typical Cancer these days...

[whatdidido]

You're doing great. I was thinking....so, you and your wife are doing the "one week you have the kids, one week she does"? Why don't you do, Mon, Tues, Wed am you got them, wed pm, thurs, fri, she has them, and then sat/sun you got them. Then the following week Mon, Tues, Wed am she has them, etc. Then, the kids and you won't be away from each other for as long a period of time. I would think that is VERY hard on the littlest one.

[LL44]

I read your part about typing a text, then debating, then deleting. Yup. I find myself reaching out to H from my heart (just a simple text like you mentioned), then my head pulls me back. A hard battle sometimes.

[Sugar and Spice]

I read your part about typing a text, then debating, then deleting. Yup. I find myself reaching out to H from my heart (just a simple text like you mentioned), then my head pulls me back. A hard battle sometimes.

Thats me all over....

[hopeful4her]

If only we could figure out WHY we want to reach out so much. It has to be the rejection. We just cannot believe that its not us that they want.

THAT is hard to take. WHY?

I almost pushed send. To have her not respond would have just killed me. So why chance it? I would have looked weak anyway. But it is damn hard to NOT reach out.

After D11 got out of school, she was texting me a couple times back and forth. When I got off of work, I called GBG to let her know I was on my way. She almost sounded surprised. Just like her. I had to repeat it.

"I'm coming to pick up the girls. I'll be there soon."
"Okay. They are going to eat before they go."

WTF? I get there, and little SIL is there too. D6 was in a mood. Not listening. No one was packed. Kids are telling me about the day. S14 also. GBG asks if I want to eat. I decline. I'm talking to the girls and asking them to get ready. Please. Someone knocks on the door. Its her neighbor I met. She brought someone for GBG to meet. They step outside. I know they are talking about child care for D6. 10 minutes later, she comes back in. D6 keeps insisting on going to play with the neighbors son.

GBG sits to tell me that she believes that she has the childcare set.
"Who her? Who is she?"
"She is lady from upstairs."
"What happened to the Y?"
"I didn't want to pay $180. It was expensive."
"I knew how much it was. Did you check it out?"
"Yes. I did."
"Its not like you were going to pay by yourself."
"No. I wasn't."

She said that with ugly emphasis.

"Your the one that wanted to put her in the Y. Have you met the lady? Have you been to her place?"
"We are going to visit in a minute. I am NOT going to leave my daughter with just anyone. I'm taking care of it."

I wanted to tell her that here we are, needing child care tomorrow. She told me she was going to take care of it before. We are going to meet this lady at 7:00 the night before. What if we or I don't like her? Then what?

I bit my tongue and turned away. I shook my head.
"Why are you nodding?"
I turn to look her dead in the eyes.
"I am not nodding. I'm shaking my head."
"Why are you shaking your head?"
Again, she is being ugly.
"Because I can't figure out why you have to talk the way you do."

I turn away. I'm getting frustrated. D6 is not listening. D11 phone rings. She is in her room talking. I figured it was my mother. GBG walks in.
"Who's that?" in her normal rude tone.
"What?! Why? It's grandma."
A minute passes.
"Okay. Why did she get off the phone all of the sudden?"
"Why? Why are you mad?"
"I'm not mad. I'm not going to keep you from your grandparents. If your dad's mother or father calls, I'm not going to keep you from talking to them."

Your dads mother or father? She is so stupid.

She closed the door for about 10 minutes.

I look into GBG's bedroom where S14 is. I look at him with a look. He looks back at me and give the universal sign with his hands.

The "I don't know, and I ain't askin'" sign.

Don't forget that SIL is there. Not a peep. She sat herself at the dining table and doing some homework or something. Reading. Hopefully she'll realize how ridiculous GBG is sometimes. Always unprovoked.

The girls come out. I am starting to get pissed. I just want to get the hell out of there. I grab what I can and take to the car. I come back and try to hurry up everyone.

We go upstairs to meet the couple. They are research scientists here from Kosovo. Been her 3 years. Have a boy in the 3rd grade. Very nice people. I got a good feeling.

I do trust my gut feelings. Introducing me to the couple, she says,
"I brought my husband to meet ya'll too."

Then she caught herself. "The girls dad."

Stupid ass.

We stay for about 30 minutes. I'm trying to leave. Once outside, GBG and I talk about them. They're nice. She told me they were Indian at first.

Again, stupid ass. Okay, I thought they might have been Morrocan or something. I guess I'm stupid too.

Back to the apartment for something. We go over the girls afterschool schedule once more. D11 mentions something about me picking up and us waiting for GBG to come home and having dinner. I correct her and tell her that when I get there, we are hitting the road, not waiting. GBG says that sometimes she'll get out early and will try to fix dinner.

Yeah, sure.

FINALLY we leave. GBG looks her usual sad self, but not as bad this time. She'll feel it just like I did. S14 tells me he'll see me Wednesday. Come home, play with puppies for a little while. I have to get D6 showered and to bed. She is DYING for sleep. GBG had asked me to make sure to finish D11's paperwork. She will finish D6's paperwork and take it to the school in the morning. She wants to get with the teacher and give her the afterschool schedule for D6.

I'm going to have to email the teacher too. Make sure no spinning is going on.

By the way, the girls like the Acqua di Gio most. Looks like we have a winner.

The more I see GBG, the more I'm going to lose sight of the goal.

And no kidding, GBG's shirt IS fitting her tighter.

[attorneytom]

I want to hear about Roger , damn it !

I dont care about anyone else in this sitch.. other than his kids ?

I dont care about the apartment.. or what anyone else does.

YOU have to control your emotions and self. What are you doing for YOU ?

Come on man ! It is hard I know.. but you can do this.

Like I said months ago .. this is your xw.. she is hellbent..

Come Along ?

Tom

[lost_in_space]

You won't be disappointed with the Acqua h4H.

[LL44]

I almost pushed send. To have her not respond would have just killed me. So why chance it? I would have looked weak anyway. But it is damn hard to NOT reach out.

Good golly, I hate the non-answered texts. Pretty much keeps me in line and keeps me from not sending them/calling H.

I am glad you like the caregiver. And I love that you called W stupid ass, I mumble that about H from time to time. lol

[hopeful4her]

Thinking about it, I think me breaking down the other night was due more to missing my family. Not really GBG. The family time, ALL of us together, and then having to leave. I just lost it. If it was GBG, I would have sent the text. In a heart beat.

I'm getting used to doing the me thing. It hasn't been very long, but I can see improvements. Taking things day by day helps. Play some more golf, play some basketball or at least just go shoot some hoops by myself, read more like I used to, and be with friends and family.

And hanging out with people that want to be hanging with me.

AT, I remember from day one, the first time you posted to me, you called her S2BXW. I was taken back by it. But you saw it. Like I tell people, I have some hope, but I'm not counting on it. Going to do what makes me happy.

And that could be hanging around a lady the wants to be around me. Even just talking.

Y was at my office for a little while. Talked a little. She went on an appointment. She ended up calling me on my direct line.
We must have talked for half an hour. I'm surprised I didn't have a client, because the rest of the day was busy as hell. Except for this small time frame. We talked about her daughters first day, my kids first day. We talked about work. Not sure how we got started, but we talked about the guy she likes. She called him a couple days ago, but hasn't heard from him and she is angry at him and herself. I told her she needs to let him go. She agrees. She says how she always ends up friends with the guys she dates. I tell her to not be naive. They still want to get into her panties. We go back and forth some on it, then she kind of agrees. We talk about being in the 'friend zone'. Not where a guy wants to be. I say nice guys are still out there. She doesn't want a nice guy. I ask if she wants a jerk. She says no. I say that there are no perfect people out there. Look for the one that respects her and stands up to her too. She doesn't want someone boring, but not an all out party guy too. I tell her that she may already know the guy, but doesn't realize it. She agrees. Maybe.

We talk about how much she likes to talk. I tell her I'm not really a chit chatter. Talking just to talk. She says that she changed guys like that. I agree with her. I tell her, "In these past 6 or 7 months, I can honestly say that the longest conversations that I have had have been with you." We crack up.
"I KNEW you were going to say that!" I mean, I had her laughing.

I had such a good time talking to her. I cannot help myself when it comes to her. I know I don't have a snowballs chance in hell with her, but I really love talking to her. She just loves to talk and she draws me in. GBG always wanted me to talk to her, but never would really initiate talking to me. I would tell her that if she wanted to talk so much, why didn't she just talk to me. It became such an issue with her. I can talk my ass off. I just need the right push. With Y, it just comes. And today, I realized that I was trying to plant seeds.

I'm sure she is exactly the same with ALL her guy friends. And I do believe she has a LOT. And I'm sure she is hit on constantly.

I admit it. I'm a mixed up person. I didn't used to be. But when I'm around B or Y, I am such a confident person. No, a confident man. And having no expectations about any of it, I feel tons better for it about myself. I wish I could explain it. They don't flirt with me. They don't. We just talk. I fantasize a bit, but I think thats all it is. I am NOT these girls type. They have broken up with way better than me.

Like I said before, I think I'm in the "friend zone" with both of them anyway. It can't hurt if it helps my PMA.

Am I really the only that one that thinks they're nuts? Just my goofy thoughts that I'm posting for everyone to see.

[Sugar and Spice]

If only we could figure out WHY we want to reach out so much. It has to be the rejection. We just cannot believe that its not us that they want.

Seriously, I wish I knew! I wish I had that answer, it would solve so many problems.

By the way, the girls like the Acqua di Gio most. Looks like we have a winner.

You won't be disappointed with the Acqua h4H.

Again, you two are KILLING ME!!!!

And no kidding, GBG's shirt IS fitting her tighter.

So next time she is acting like a total bitch, ask her if she washed it in hot water cuz it looks a little snug...not really going to further the goal, but the look on her face will be PRICELESS!!!!! Sorry, that wasn't nice, but think about it next time your in this situation and I guarantee you'll get a smile on your face!

I almost pushed send. To have her not respond would have just killed me. So why chance it? I would have looked weak anyway. But it is damn hard to NOT reach out.

. And I love that you called W stupid ass, I mumble that about H from time to time. lol

I mumble Dumb ass and f*cktard a lot...like a mantra these days.

H4H, you are doing the best you can and I'm proud of your self restraint. Just be there for the girls and maybe take some time to really figure out what your goal is. If being around GBG is making you feel like you don't want to do this anymore, then get away from her and see how you feel. Remember, absence make the heart grow fonder...sometimes we wish they could be "bump in the desert" absent, but then that may just be my dream.
Sounds like you actually went and had some fun while the girls were gone and that is good. Do some stuff for H4H and work on YOU and what YOU like and want. GBG needs to see what she is missing, she needs to miss you. She can't miss you if you are always there for her. I'm not one to be preaching, I know, but I think a little distance would only benefit you....
((((hugs)))) to one of the aqua men.