Trixi and His Highness

[Trixi]

LOL- "tail fluffing" too funny FYI, I liked your statement that I chirp but I don't fluff my tail.
Busy weekend; big glass event a couple hours away. Went Friday night, stayed in hotel to get there first thing. Got to see lots of peoples' work up close and personal, so that was really cool. I was shy for most of the day and spoke to just a few people, no one "big".
We were supposed to bring beads for trade and at the end of the day, people were breaking out their stashes and trading, so I took out my trade beads and also brought out a "brag" box of some earrings, bead sets, dog head beads, etc just to show what else I do. I was shocked at the response. The guy I buy glass from wants to know how much I charge for the dog head beads; two different people said I was their favorite trade of the day; One lady asked if she could buy a pair of earrings; someone else (who does production beads) was impressed at my consistency-- all in all- it was awesome!

Yesterday H came over for dinner; he obviously was very glad to see me even though he was tired from his camping trip. He said they partied pretty hard. I asked him if there was so much debauchery that he couldn't tell me about the trip and he laughed and said "what happens camping, stays at camping". I am sure that nothing "bad" happened- but probably nothing "good" either.

Last night the H that I really like was here. He was attentive, cuddly, sweet, passionate, complimentary, fun, helpful, affectionate, funny, tender-- it's THAT H that makes me stick it out. We were having a little smooch outside and he kisses my eyebrows and says "do you pluck your eyebrows?" and I say "not really- just here to grab strays" and he says "You have really nice eyebrows" and kissed them again. Awwwww. I know, that probably sounds stupid, but I loved it.

Last night, we were sitting at the table playing cribbage. The lights were down low and I had candles lit. It was POURING rain outside. He was staring at his cards trying to decide which two to throw into the crib and as I looked at him and then at the pouring rain outside and then back at him, inside my cozy little house, I felt good. "Good" like- this is what it's supposed to feel like when you spend your life with someone. I wish it could be a permanent thing.

I saw this on "LoginName"s thread:
"Without making an ultimatum (I wasn't trying to manipulate my W into anything, just telling her how I felt, what I was going to do - lot's of "I" statements), I told my W I needed to move on. I wasn't going to file, I'm in no hurry, but I was done, couldn't wait for her to decide anymore. Then I started (for the, what, third time?) mourning my marriage, future, etc. but felt strong and healthy doing it."

I am not ready to say this to my H, but I wanted to post it so I can refer to it later if I need to. I have been confused as to how to drop the rope without making it seem like I actually want a D.

I still deeply love my H, I still believe that if he would fully commit, we could have an amazing marriage.

No R talks last night, no big revelations-- just a really nice night.

Currently, I don't feel any need to fluff, chirp or bite.