Originally Posted By: frank_D
I often wonder if this started out as MLC / running away but has progressed to her really just not being in love with me any more.

How do we ever really know? I guess we don't.


What we know, Frank, is that love is a choice.

Speaking only from my own experience and my own heart, I can tell you that if/when everything finally clicks in your wife - when she finally 'get's it' - when she realizes in her soul the value of family, the strength of the ties...the importance and the depth...that choice becomes easy.

Everything and everyone that's out there in the world will pale by comparison.

She'll know that everything and everyone else will forever only be second best - nothing can ever be recreated or substituted.

If she ever realizes those things - the search, race, the run and the hysteria will just end.

Whether or not you'll give a rat's ass by the time that day comes, if it ever comes, remains to be seen.

I don't even know that your wife has the guts to face any of those things. I don't know if she has the potential for that kind of understanding. She could be one that runs and searches forever. That's very sad indeed but it's not for you to "save" her from herself and the results of her foolish, careless choices. You can't "save" her.

But as surely as she has made the choice not to love for the time being, you can still make the choice TO love.

That doesn't mean become a doormat.
That doesn't mean open your front door everytime she wants to come over.
It doesn't mean you shouldn't take steps to protect yourself.

It just means that when you speak to her or when you speak of her you do so with the spirit of love.
And Frank it means praying for her, too.

Frank, to whom much is given sooooo, sooooo, soooooo much is required...

So if at any moment you find that this situation doesn't take every single ounce of strength you have within you and then still have the absolute audacity to require more... well my friend, you just ain't doing it right.

But if it is, and if it does, you can rest assured you're probably right where you need to be.



Peace,


Amy