I feel for you brother. Some of what you said really struck a chord with me. My wife lost all interest in sex within 2 weeks of being married and I have spent the last year in therapy with her about her loss of desire. You have put many hard years into your marriage and it sounds as though it has not paid off at all. I don't blame you for wanting out. I hate to see marriages fail but it sounds like your wife actually WANTS out, she just might not know it. Do her (and more importantly yourself) a favor. Realize that it is 4th down and you got about 60 yards to go. TIME TO PUNT!!! Did you say that you were in your 40s?? That is still quite young.
Your post, as sad as it is, has inspired me (sort of). I have decided that I will ONLY spend one more year working on my marriage. Most people only change when they get sick enough of themselves to want to. My wife knows the problems in our marriage. I know now that I can't make her change, and I'll be damnned if I spend 20 more years waiting for something to get better.
As far as age goes, my father is 56 and he is a total mess (alcoholic, completely irresponsible, cigar smoker, drunk caller, etc) and he gets a lot of action. If I were you I would not worry about what kind of relationship you can get at your age. Just get out there (and maybe lower your standards a bit). I think you should find a couple of purely sexual relationships for a while. Don't put up with any crap in them. It is possible that one of them could develop into something more but who needs to worry about that. "Just do it!" for a few years and then think about settling down. You've still got lead in your pencil...now get out there and write!!! Oh yeah, always use protection.
