Sawks, just checking. If she knows all that and still wants to date you, that's cool. But why the XW bit?
I react to the premature changing of names and titles because all of our WAS's do it. My W was going by her maiden name and calling me her XH a couple days after we separated. In fact, her Facebook still says "in case anyone was wondering, I'm still getting a divorce". OK, well just file already and get on with it
Divorce takes a long of time, and I think that's a good thing. I understand your impatience, but be careful about closing the door right when things might be changing. You never know...
Oh, and as for my day, just check my thread
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Sawks, just checking. If she knows all that and still wants to date you, that's cool. But why the XW bit?
I react to the premature changing of names and titles because all of our WAS's do it. My W was going by her maiden name and calling me her XH a couple days after we separated. In fact, her Facebook still says "in case anyone was wondering, I'm still getting a divorce". OK, well just file already and get on with it
Divorce takes a long of time, and I think that's a good thing. I understand your impatience, but be careful about closing the door right when things might be changing. You never know...
Oh, and as for my day, just check my thread
Fait enuff bud.. i just thought I would practice the XW thing. I have closed the door now, i don't want a M or R with W anymore, even if she changed her mind now, I am now done. I just don't want to go back there, 3 months, 2 months, 1 month ago i thought I did. I did ALOT of grieving alone, and I am very very strong now. I am not going back. I know this is not what folks want to hear on this site. Just sayin. The door might be open , but it is 0.02%
MY W changed to her maiden name pretty quick, and has surely told everybody i am this and that, why would i want to get back to that place..
Yeah, I think the changing of names and titles gets to me for the same reason.
I've gotten fine with saying I'm getting D, or will be D soon, or that I'm S. But I don't call him my XH, cuz he's not...yet.
I am single status at work as of today. Officially. And ok , i am Sep. and will be D in a year, i think it was the fact that my mom refuses to take the wedding picture off her wall, and i have allready shredded all of mine. That just bugged me a little, but i think i talked her into it
Hmm, I think you mistake indifference for numbness which is hiding that resentment/anger.
Why would you shred your wedding photos? They're part of you, part of your past, regardless of how the M went.
$20 says this is exactly where your W was mentally a few months ago. You are acting/thinking like a WAH IMHO.
I have the pics electronically that's why :P I shredded the ones that were in frames meant for the wall.
The anger was there, i think the longer we stay in the house, i just don't want to deal with her. Last night she brought up the fact that she can't keep the house, but i can so why am I not taking it on. Why do i want a condo now, i wanted the house, i can afford it, why am i not.
Those types of things are not making me angry, because i have very rarely gotten angry in the past few months, i had alot of opportunities to get mad, but didn't. heck W keeps trying to get me to lose my cool by statements she makes.
I realize it's a little different when we've already been told things are over...but here's the "symptoms" I see
dating while living with W hiding/destroying memories of the good times (regardless of whether you still have softcopies, that act was pretty damn symbolic emotionally) nothing positive to say about W (or very few) - very focused on negatives/hopelessness
Originally Posted By: redsawks44
Those types of things are not making me angry, because i have very rarely gotten angry in the past few months, i had alot of opportunities to get mad, but didn't.
This statement can be taken as detachment, or apathy, or numbness. You're inside your head, so you know better than I.
Frankly, 4 months is nothing compared to a lot of people on this board. And while I'm not one to harp on you about the dating as I have been seeing someone recently, that started 11 months after I moved in with my roommate. Yes, you're right that people deal with things differently and on different time schedules, but frankly I see you trying to fill the void in your life with a new person, and it seems too fast.
You seem to be moving very fast. Acting impulsively. You closed the door on your W very quickly is all I'm saying.
That's just what I see from your posts, obviously it's not the whole picture.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I realize it's a little different when we've already been told things are over...but here's the "symptoms" I see
dating while living with W hiding/destroying memories of the good times (regardless of whether you still have softcopies, that act was pretty damn symbolic emotionally) nothing positive to say about W (or very few) - very focused on negatives/hopelessness
Originally Posted By: redsawks44
Those types of things are not making me angry, because i have very rarely gotten angry in the past few months, i had alot of opportunities to get mad, but didn't.
This statement can be taken as detachment, or apathy, or numbness. You're inside your head, so you know better than I.
Frankly, 4 months is nothing compared to a lot of people on this board. And while I'm not one to harp on you about the dating as I have been seeing someone recently, that started 11 months after I moved in with my roommate. Yes, you're right that people deal with things differently and on different time schedules, but frankly I see you trying to fill the void in your life with a new person, and it seems too fast.
You seem to be moving very fast. Acting impulsively. You closed the door on your W very quickly is all I'm saying.
That's just what I see from your posts, obviously it's not the whole picture.
Like I said I know you gals will keep me in check, you always do
It's not that i don't have anything good to say about W, i really don't think or talk about her much. Maybe it's detachment.. keeping the GAL going, not sure. But it is what it is. I will wish W luck in the future, i don't wish ill will on anyone. As for the pics, that was symbolic for me. I am not going to put wedding pics up on the walls, so i got rid of those pics, maybe a dozen in all. Down the road, I'll decide to get rid of more or just keep them, likely the latter.
As for filling up the void, the gym fills that void, I am just looking for a friend to do things with, not more not less. If things develop , that's ok by me, if they don't fine as well.
I hope i don't sound pissed off etc, because i'm not really..
You don't sound pissed off. It probably seems to most of us that you "got over" your wife awfully fast. Somethings just not right about that. You can want to be free from the drama, and want to be out of an unhealthy situation, but this IS the woman you vowed to spend your life with. I just don't see that's something you can get over in 4mos.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
