I also think that when our WAS is gone we tend to see everything through rose colored glasses.
We seem to suddenly forget the bad stuff and only focus on the good things, and how much we miss them and need them in our lives.
We begin to do things for their attention and make them our reason for living.
We forget all about their character flaws and romantasize our Marriage.
I am not saying that we should dwell on the bad things, I am simply saying that if we can be totally honest, even if our Marriage was good, it was not perfect.
I know for me, there was a time when I placed my WAH on a pedestool. I took all of the blame for everything and made him out to be so wonderful.
I also came to realize that each of us played a part in the demise of our Marriages, yet none of us deserved to be treated as badly as most of the WAS have treated us.
But it was definately a wake up call.
This is why we have to detach from their lunacy, and their perception of us.
We have to focus on ourselves and also have a reality check about who we are, and what we deserve.
We need to set boundaries, not to punish them, but rather to protect ourselves.
Once self preservation mode kicked in for me, and I truly learned how to detach I began to sleep alot better at night and could actually function normally again.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
