I think your wife needs to get her own apartment, get responsible, get a regularly paying job and be on her own for at least 1 year before you even consider letting her back in your house. She needs to be able to come back to you as a mature, strong, independent woman. She needs to not need you financially. If she's on her own, if she can make it without you, if she has all her choices of "spiritual" boy-men but THEN she wants to come back to you, Frank, it's for real. You will know if it's for real. It will be a miraculous change in her. Right now you are the safety net -- the paycheck. You need to be the treasure that she wants, not simply the lesser of two evils.
I do agree with the spirit of this post. It's the year or more of this that I don't like. Not that I'm waiting for her, it's just no fun to be alone. She's not alone, but I am because I don't want my kids to deal with someone new in their life, and I'm not 'over' W.
I pray for her to have a change of heart but she seems to be fine with her life.
