So I married a sex addict...

[happycamper]

I've just come back from the holiday from hell. 10 days camping, in the UK, rained everyday, in a tent with four children and... H. We agreed right at the start of our separation that we should do it seeing as the children knew they were going and I couldn't do it by myself.

The main difficulty was his contact with his g/f. Once the children were in bed, which ended up being about 9, he then went off to phone her. She was so worried that he would change his mind and want to be with me that they used to spend about an hour on the phone each night. I did spend one evening with him...

I think in the (very) back of my mind I thought that something might happen between us, but nothing did at all. He is very firm in his decision that our R is over. He is right of course, I think my hoping that something might happen was just the rejection talking. One night I let the story play out in my head... we get back together, have a happy couple of months and then... disaster again?

Oh, and there was the conversation we had when I finally got the truth. Not 3 one-night stands, not 20, but between 150 and 200.



And this is why we can be good friends - because the man has a problem. His whole self-worth system is based on sex, he's still looking for the lady to tell him he is a very 'special boy', just like his abuser. He's constantly looking for the perfect women, and he'll never find her. He doesn't think he will have a relationship longer that 3-5 years ever again.

I've seen him text-rowing over the last 3 days with the g/f, I think they have some problems. He is very, very stressed (they say dealing with a first R split following your divorce is very hard) and I feel very sorry for him.

I know that if they split up that won't change things between us. He has absolutely no intention of reconciliation with me. And yet there is the 2% of me that thinks I should be divorcebusting rather than accepting that it is over.