I just read this thread, and I am so happy to see that others have the same difficulties as I do when it comes to healing.
My H and I are trying to piece for the 3rd time (4th time if you count our origonal M as the first try). He has been reconnecting wiht me since about May '08, almost 4 months now. He is very loving and sex is great. However he is still at the bars a lot, since he first left he became an alcoholic.
He also is still living seperately in his own apartment (that he hates) but he seems to have no desire to move back in with me. It is so hard for us to fully reconnect when he is always away from me and at the bars. I know he still looks at other women a lot too.
Our R seems to be great, but there are choices he still makes that just drive me crazy. I also dont know how to rebuild trust in him. Everyday, I go crazy because I fear that he is meeting another women at the bars (he first left me for a stripper- EA).
I am so glad that we are working on our M, but I feel like none of my needs and desires are being met. He drinks way too much, goes out drinking alone alot, he is always flirting with other women, doesnt want to move back in with me, he is always talking negatively about M in general and how "its an institution", doesnt want to ever come around my family or our old friends any more, and he acts like his new friends are the world to him.
I go to all family and friend gatherings alone now, I am strapped for money since we live apart, and I had to go bail him out from almost getting a DWI last night at 3:30 in the morning. When will my needs be met???
Is anyone else feeling like this? Do your partners seem to still be in MLC or confused even though they tell you they want to work on the M? TIPPER
