Please help me to not give up............

[TwinDad]

I guess what you're saying is that if I don't change the home/work situation then it's more of the same behaviours, which as you rightly say, have not worked.

In this case subtle might be better, if your W is "threatened", though I think it is imperative that you need to improve your R with your Boys. Whatever that means (spending more time with them when you are home, talking to them more, maybe eventually working up to being home more often). Basically, make it clear that changes are taking place, for the better. Youare the best judge of your day-to-day life, I am just throwing out ideas.

If your W was like mine, then you probably heard "resentment kills love, and once it is dead that is all there is too it". One thing to keep in mind from a WAW's perspective, they have already mourned this loss...they have come to terms with and figured they have done what they could do....they have checked out. So in many respects she is not emotionally disconnected, you are playing catch up to where she is at. Only your actions will turn things around