Maybe it's Midlife Crisis at any age?

[TwinDad]

Poet,

You are still focusing on him........at this point what he thinks or does doesn't matter. You need to get your feet under yourself regardless. You need to put yourself in a position of emotional strength. You can't keep him from contact thing OW, you can't make him say ILY.
What you can do is work on being a better you. What happens....happens. One thing is certain, if you don't work on a better you, nothing good can come of this sitch.

You are a sweet, caring, person that no matter what will be ok. If your H comes to his senses then he will be fortunate, otherwise someone esle will be lucky. You have to believe that....you should have no reason to not believe that.

If you realize that you have already lost him, then there is little to be afraid of. As far as engaging him goes, one of the benefits of going dark is that whn you have contact you can set the conditions of it (time/place) and prepare yourself for the conversation. To help you gain some more strength and ocnfidence