Please help me to not give up............

[TwinDad]

Grant,

Your W seems very bitter and resentful. I can see where she might see it as a slap in the face for you to all of sudden to make family life a priority. Turning up her "song" from HS is just plain mean and she knows it but there is not much you could do about it since it is defensible (if it means anything my W did the same thing to me)

Some good things
- She wants to work on being friends first (very good)
- No talk about D
- The OM appears to be completely out fo the picture (though she might pine for him)


As I told you earlier, consistency is going to be the key, this isn't going to be easy, you have to decide what your limit is. If it was me I would continue to do what you are doing and focus on your boys, GAL with them. As this becomes apparent to be a lifestyle change she will likely lower some of her defenses. She might want to be included in some of the activities.

She told you herself that some of these changes would have made a huge difference a couple years ago....doing the opposite (i..e what you had been doing) certainly isn't going to bring you closer to your goal.

Be consistent with your counselor as well. She sees you making an effort, she will be watching you carefully and all along will be saying it isn't going to work......a very familiar theme around here. Continue to make changes that are going to make you a better person. If she says it isn't going to help your sitch then just say "I don't know where things are going to lead, I am just workig on being a better person regardless of what happens"

I would try to get Smart Cookie or Sandi2 to post to your thread if you could to get a WAW perspective....it is always good to know what the other side is thinking.

Only give up when you are ready to give up