I wouldn't say you are a DB failure. Although I think ultimately our goals are to save our marriages, sometimes there is too much water under the bridge. I think DBing is about being the best person you can be, whether the marriage works or not.
But, just be careful with the dating. Take it very slow, and remember a woman with children is a whole new ballgame. Don't be too much in a rush to meet the kids, because kids do get attached. Go very slow. I know you feel like you are done, and that is fine, sometimes there is only so much you can take. However, give yourself time too, get to know you, and enjoy your life. Don't rush into anything, because you never know what may happen next.
The original goal was to save my M, but yes way too many hurtful things have been said and done by either side, thuse too much water under the bridge. I find that I have slowly become the person I was meant to be, someone said the worst thing to happen to me became the best thing that happened to me.. well i agree.. I grew up alot in the past 4 months.. if this is what it took, then i guess that's life. I have certainly learnt alot.
I plan on taking it careful on the dating. We will go do something "on a whim" friday night, should be fun. She asked " are you sure there is no chance of reconciliation becasue i don't want to mess with that, i replied, i am sure"
As for the kids, that's a whole new ballgame for me too. I want to meet them, but am not sure how to go about it.
I am enjoying me and enjoying life, I am finding that I have a lot to offer, and one of my "girl" friends, who happens to be one of my best friends, told me I am a catch, just a matter of time.
