I wouldn't say you are a DB failure. Although I think ultimately our goals are to save our marriages, sometimes there is too much water under the bridge. I think DBing is about being the best person you can be, whether the marriage works or not.
But, just be careful with the dating. Take it very slow, and remember a woman with children is a whole new ballgame. Don't be too much in a rush to meet the kids, because kids do get attached. Go very slow. I know you feel like you are done, and that is fine, sometimes there is only so much you can take. However, give yourself time too, get to know you, and enjoy your life. Don't rush into anything, because you never know what may happen next.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I wouldn't say you are a DB failure. Although I think ultimately our goals are to save our marriages, sometimes there is too much water under the bridge. I think DBing is about being the best person you can be, whether the marriage works or not.
But, just be careful with the dating. Take it very slow, and remember a woman with children is a whole new ballgame. Don't be too much in a rush to meet the kids, because kids do get attached. Go very slow. I know you feel like you are done, and that is fine, sometimes there is only so much you can take. However, give yourself time too, get to know you, and enjoy your life. Don't rush into anything, because you never know what may happen next.
The original goal was to save my M, but yes way too many hurtful things have been said and done by either side, thuse too much water under the bridge. I find that I have slowly become the person I was meant to be, someone said the worst thing to happen to me became the best thing that happened to me.. well i agree.. I grew up alot in the past 4 months.. if this is what it took, then i guess that's life. I have certainly learnt alot.
I plan on taking it careful on the dating. We will go do something "on a whim" friday night, should be fun. She asked " are you sure there is no chance of reconciliation becasue i don't want to mess with that, i replied, i am sure"
As for the kids, that's a whole new ballgame for me too. I want to meet them, but am not sure how to go about it.
I am enjoying me and enjoying life, I am finding that I have a lot to offer, and one of my "girl" friends, who happens to be one of my best friends, told me I am a catch, just a matter of time.
I would wait on meeting the kids. Kids should only be involved if it is going to be a relationship, and they are innocent so you don't want to hurt them. Having men in and our of kids' lives can be traumatic. Since this is just casual dating, I would recommend not meeting the children.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Red, I agree with Lola. It's difficult on little kids. I wouldn't introduce my D to another man and I know my XH wouldn't introduce her to another woman. It's not very healthy.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I don't even know if thats in her plans at all. Right now we are just getting to know each other, there is more chemistry than there was with last ng.. who btw is a little crazy.
yesterday we just went for lunch, walked her dogs and then she had to goto work. She totally lined up a smooch on me, and I was not expecting that..
I have only dated two guys since XH and I divorced, and H was one of them. I agree, this S has been tough on D12, she misses H, and I will not introduce any other man to her ever. If H and I do not reconcile, that will be it. Kids are so fragile, I don't care who says that they bounce back. If they see this, it will be tough on them if it does not work.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Fair enough, what if this evolves into a relationship.. it could.. who knows. I know her sich is her XH gets visitation, but he was a bigtime cheater.. they have been d'd for 2 years.
This takes me to the movie Jerry Maquire, where Cuba Gooding Jr reminds Tom Cruise that a single mother has already done the whole casual dating thing, and you need to be really careful. He was really right, single mom's don't do casual very well (I am sure some do, I am not one of them), and are really looking for stability, especially if you meet the kids. So just be really careful.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I will be careful i promise you that. I know I will get grilled over what I am about to say, but everyone is different, who's to say I am not ready for a new R? I might be , I might not, i guess the trick is to take it easy and let time tell. I plan to go on the date friday have a good time and go from there, if we have fun, well go on #3, etc.
Yes I will be very mindful of the kids, i will not go there now. If we continue to get along, then cross that oath the day it comes.
Is that fair enough? Besides I kniow you gals will keep me in line :P
