Sorry FIB that you are having a bad day. You are right your w is horrible acting out in front of the children.
I do believe she has these outbursts because of all her pain and inner turmoil that she is going through. Not acceptable, but it is and shows who she is right now!
Anger can make you do and say horrible things. When you have a lot of pent up anger it comes out in an ugly form. It's as if you have lost control.
Yes glamgirl,
You're right. FIB's wife does have lots of pain and inner turmoil but that's her pain. He didn't cause it and he can't fix it only she can. So what are his alternatives? He could stick it out and just live with all of the emotional and verbal abuse, because I gotta tell you, that won't change anytime soon. Meanwhile, he's not just putting his life on hold and himself through hell, but also teaching his kids that it's ok to let someone treat you like this, until they're walking on eggshells along with him. Kids mirror what they know and I don't know, about you, but it would break my heart to see any of my children allow themselves to be treated so poorly.
The baggage that FIB's wife is carrying was there way before FIB ever came into the picture. It would have come out eventually no matter who she was with. For a time he was probably a distraction from it. Then came the new home and the kids, but those things only distract one for so long. They never really fill us up.
So although it's very sad for her, it's never going to change until someone changes the dance. Who knows, maybe then she will be forced to take a good hard look at her pain.