"You're Too CONTROLLING!"

[saffie]

I was reading over -- and replied to -- a post in the "Newcomers" forum this evening, and I thought I would start a separate thread about this, but it amazes me how incredibly consistent it is ("SCRIPT") that wayward spouses inevitably accuse their betrayed spouse of being "controlling."

I've known this for awhile, and I usually press someone on it, asking them if their spouse had ALWAYS had issues with them being "controlling" during their marriage, or did this complaint just come up recently, about the time (or after) their spouse started having their affair?

Guess what the answer is, more than 90% of the time???

"Controlling" to a wayard spouse means "I don't like that you have a problem with me having an affair."

Actually Puppy....I think that they consider the BS as controling because the BS acted in a way which made them want to look outside the M - whatever that reason was - and they couldn't control the BS's behaviour and change it to what they wanted, so they call the BS controlling.

We all know that the wayward spouse rewrites history anyway and blames, (usually,) every thing on the BS just to justify their actions.