That bothers me too... from the moment I became aware that our marriage was in crisis I have read books, done soul searching on what I have done and could change etc to save our family and make the future better than the past.
I havent read your situation...I will go back thru when I have time.. I didnt realize yours is home....
This is a roller coaster... I am in for the entire ride..as long as I can ..for my kids
