Well my advice is this. Make a list of goals, both fun and not so fun, break them down into smaller steps and try to accomplish a few of them.
Tell yourself, it's okay to feel bad, you don't have to feel happy, but you know that when you're feeling better down the road, you'll be thankful that you accomplished these things. For example, the last few years were the worst of my life and yet I look back and realize wow, but I traveled here and I took this class, I saw my first meteor shower I...I did this for the first time, I tried that... etc. etc. etc.
Force yourself to try something new hopefully involving other people.
and then take it day by day. You'll get there. You've already gotten through the worst, the only way to go from here is up!
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I was really feeling fine, but things are not good right now. I think it's the finality of everything - and the fact that there are so many "finals" -
I am feeling really lonely right now, alone and sad. I do not want to get back together w/ XH, but I wish I could be in a healthy, stable R with someone else.
I felt this way for six months now. Still hard to wrap my head around it.
Maybe soon.
I cannnot even look at another woman without a certain distain.
What we are going through is normal. But is sucks it takes so long. Limbo is no fun.
I do not want to get back together w/ XH, but I wish I could be in a healthy, stable R with someone else.
hey princess, big hugs))))))))))))))))))))) You will be ready for a nic R when you feel like you DON"T need to be in an R. I was so desperate to have someone, anywone with me right after the final bomb that I hurt to thing I'd be alone without a man in my life. I've calmed down and have embraced my life and love who I am and what I have and realize that no man will complete me, I"m happy the way I am, and if God sees it fit to send me a companion (yes, I pray for a good man if it is his will) then great, if not, then God is sparing me hearache and knows that living on my own is the best thing for me.
We dont' know what the future hold, but it is there, for us to take any road we want and be as happy as we want to be.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Maybe knowing that you can feel the sadness creeping in is the key. At least it's not catching you by surprise.
When you think about the good things that you have to look forward to in the coming weeks, months, and years, I think that helps lift the blues.
When you take stock of all the good things that are still IN your life, I think that helps too. Thank God for my amazing sons, my fantastic parents, and a couple of TRUE friends who remain some of my strongest supporters and encouragers.
And think about others who have passed through this sad moment and moved on to really wonderful moments in their life. I will humbly submit my own experience as evidence of what you have to look forward to.
At 44 years of age, I wasn't optimistic about another relationship coming my way when my divorce was final. But here I am today, newly married to a wonderful woman who loves and cherishes life with me. I've gained not just a wife, but three pretty awesome kids to go with my two boys.
My finances are slowly but surely recovering, my teaching is better than it's ever been I think, my 16 year old son and I have an AWESOME time sharing the house together...I mean, I never dreamed life this good was still an option.
It's a moment Nic. And it will pass. The memories, both good and bad, remain, but I think it's good that they do. But don't let the moment blind you to all that lies ahead.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
Thank you all so much for your support. I am here so seldom, and I really do appreciate your taking the time to help me out.
I am doing so much better today. In fact, the last few days have been quite good for me. Even my anniversary day ended up getting better!
I really want to just live my life and enjoy it, which generally, I do. There are moments (like you say, Bill, they are just moments) when I feel like I can't stand to be alone, I am sad, etc etc. But most of the time, I really am happy. And as much as I would like to share my life w/ someone, I want it to be the RIGHT someone - not just a man whom I've made into Mr. Right b/c I want him to be! I realise that this has been my pattern in the past. So right now, I am concentrating on just living, doing things I like, and getting to know the men I meet in a friendly way. Not only does it take the pressure off, it's more fun. I was always afraid of this b/c I didn't want to fall into the "friend zone," but I really do think it's the best way to start. Plus, it stops finding a part from being my focus, but still leaves me open to it, which is also healthier for me.
All in all, things are good (for now lol!). I go back to work tomorrow, and I am actually looking forward to it. I've had a good rest and I'm ready for a new school year.
Love to all of you, Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
Thinking of you, Nicola. Anniversaries of many kinds are not easy--I'm up for one myself, and I'm in a funk. Anyhoo, this too shall pass. You have a great attitude right now focusing on the psotive and the present. Be well.
So nic...uh...did you like your cabana boy link I sent to you? LOL. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
