I think they begin to panic when we finally take a stand and actually allow them to have consequences for their actions rather then bailing them out and making excuses for their behavior.
This is called dropping the rope.
It is so hard....
I actually felt pity for my Husband when he was acting like a Jackarse, but he wanted to be a grown up and make his own choices, so I finally stepped back and let him.
It is amazing when they begin to flounder and see what reality is like without us there as a safety net.
yeah, I think it takes some time before they start to flounder though. It doesn't appear to happen right away as W 'seems' like she's got what she wants.
Either way, I am 'acting as if' I am a single dad about to be divorced with a wayward wife.
What else can I do? It forces me to take care of myself and my needs. And my kids
