2 steps forward, 3 back

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Thank you. Today I went for a morning walk. Since H left I have lost 35 lbs. I feel better than I ever have so I figured not only do I want to stay this way but I also have lots of stress and time on my hands so I have been walking 3-4 times a week, 4 miles each time. H has walked for over 3 yrs. H finally got word that I was walking and questioned me. He asked why. I said does it matter? He said he didn't mean anything by it and I said I didn't mean that to sound bad. I went early this morning and when he called he was there doing his walk. In over a month I have luckily not run into him and GF there yet. He proceded to tell me about some dvd he bought, etc, and we talked about the kids schedule this week. I try not to say too much. He always sounds happy which just annoys me. It threw me into a little bit of a spiral, but I am outside now reading fire your shrink and trying to regain my strength. I am better when I have no contact with him. Hearing or seeing him makes me long for him. I joked in my support group that I haven't had sex in so long I had cobwebs! I never thought it would bother me but lately I have really longed for those intimate moments together. It has been almost tougher now then when he left in the fall. Has anyone else had that experience? When I want something bad enough (him) I will do anything to get it (said that in my hs yearbook)It may take years, I am prepared to keep up my work on myself, but it is killing me.

Oh, D8 brought home a scrapbook the other morning. Apparently GF helped her. She printed out pics that she took of MY H, as well as herself. Do I have to look at her pictures? IN my face? So anyway I did one up and printed D8 pictures of H and I together to add to the book. Let GF look at those!! I got 25 yrs under my belt, she has 3 months. Lookout.