I thought about what you questione about grieving. I do think that we almost have to grieve, not matter what the marriage REALLY WAS. Afterall it was our life for so many years. Maybe it wasn't what we thought at the time, but it still helped to shape who we have become. Besides, I don't really think we can ever see the whole picture until we have done so.
Interesting story about son and H. I think that how we relate to our children is vastly different. It's probably been that way from the get go. I remember you saying that your ex was always fairly rigid with the kids right? For many reasons S's relationship with you is and probably has always been more relaxed. Maybe ex's expectations on your S have caused some strain on their relationship through the years. Of course the fact that your S probably doesn't have much respect for his Dad and the way he handled things doesn't help either, but then that's not your responsibility. Good thing huh?
