Everyone, thank you for always checking on me. Gypsy, Beth, gforce, GF, Kat, tal, nocode. Thank you.
Quote:
I've forgotten, why does he come sleep on the couch anyway?
Convenience, and convenience only.
I told him he would not be staying here over the weekends, and he honored my request. It was a very peaceful weekend. We are probably heading the courts to officially file on Tuesday.
Had a nice weekend with the girls, they are great. Then went out with my girlfriend, who is going through the same thing except her STBX is actively dating OW, and introduced the kids to her recently. It was her 11 yr wedding anniversary last night. We went to the beautiful new casino last night (Lumiere Place) and had a really nice time. She spent the night (her kids with H). My girls think its SO COOL when Mommy has sleepovers. They love to beat me downstairs to the couch to wake her up.
All in all, nice weekend. Stayed up WAY too late talking with my friend, but its soooo releasing and comforting to have someone that understands, fully and truly.
Had to add, H seems downright chipper about getting this D filed this week. I think he really enjoys having me in his life as a friend and co-parent, but is relieved to be done with me in the married sense. He can have his new life, SINGLE life with no guilt, his good job, his kids, and good ol' lwb around as his friend. I am fine being his friend, and actually being divorced will free me of one thing, he can no longer be the husband who is actively cheating on me.
I know I am only guessing and projecting H's 'D chipperness', but its how I feel.
That's great he's stopped coming over, what a relief for you! Its too confusing and too much drama, you need to be drama free from him! So glad you go to go out with your friend, and even better she is going through something similar and that makes it extra wonderful to have someone "in person" to talk to. Im jealous!!
Your h is really on a different planet, he changes his moods like he changes his underwear. This is good for you, as you need closure to start your life over again and eventually with someone who is truly worthy of you.
How long have you been married lwb?
((((lwb)))
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Sounda as if you had a nice night. I've heard lots of good things about Lumiere Place but haven't yet been there. Did you go for the nightlife, or the casinos, or both?
Well it sounds as if you set your boudary with your H and he honored that. Kudos to him that doesn't always happen.
So it could all be said and done as early as Tuesday huh? You know, there comes a point where it just is better to get it overwith. Moving on can never really be a full out effort until we can close the door on the past.
Well if nothing else it's another reason to have drinks all around. We're here for you if you need us and you'll be in my thoughts!
Sounda as if you had a nice night. I've heard lots of good things about Lumiere Place but haven't yet been there. Did you go for the nightlife, or the casinos, or both?
We went and gambled (I broke even, she won $100), then had some drinks and one-of-the-best-burgers-of-my-life at The Burger Bar inside the casino. It was super nice! Parking was INSANE. We paid....wait for it....FIFTY dollars to park (Rams pregame going on). But we got it back since we spent a certain amount of $$$ on food, drink, gambling.
Quote:
So it could all be said and done as early as Tuesday huh
Well, we are just filing on Tuesday, then the lawyer estimated 6 weeks until its final. UGH You are right. A part of me needs to move on, you are right about that.
Instead of projecting what you think his feeling are.. how about YOURS? The more time spent talking about them, the less we give to ourselves. It's kind of like that pesky mosquito buzzing in your ear. That's all you can hear until you focus on something else. And it's great when that annoying whine is gone.
What's wrong with telling his best friend and co-parent that you need a little time and space to adjust.. and that him not sleeping in the house, on the couch would be very helpful to you.. that you need to get the feeling of what it's going to be like on your own. Ask for his help in that regard rather than making a demand.
Having sleep overs with friends is a beautiful thing!
I did calmly appeal to H and said "Can you work with me, please? I know its still 'your house too', but I need space and time and peace." He said yes. Funny you mentioned this a bit more, because Friday night (his first night gone), the house was soooo empty. Not lonely, but empty.
