Your post really hit home for me as I am in the same situation/mindset as you. In fact I could have wrote the excerpts below from your post regarding my WAW MLC W.
Sorry I don't have advice for you as I am looking for the answers to the same questions. I feel however that I can only work on myself while the OM is in the picture. I think the OM and the fun she is having with him is occupying most of her thoughts right now. Plus my self esteem takes a big if I flirt with her only to see her spend her quality/relationship time with the OM. I am waiting and hoping the relationship with the OM will end.
I will be watching your post closely for responses.
Good Luck !
(1) How do you detach and keep it so to keep DB'ing, when you see and hear about their relationship escalating
(2) Doing nothing is the best thing I can do ... patience and all that. But this is killing me. Each new "event" in their relationship is like a knife reopening this wound, over and over again. I feel like I take one step in the right direction then it turns out that I'm still losing ground with him, it seems.
(3) He's following what feels good. Do I pursue him? Stay dark? This has been my dilemma from the beginning because he believes the relationship breakdown as being ALL my fault. The way I treated him etc. If I treated him reallllllly well... flirted etc... would it help... or just put me into a 3 day bed state where I pull the covers over my bloody head because it failed?
(4) My H has NO idea how much he's hurt me, he's in that narcissistic teenager/alien abducted stage and it's killing me. As much as I try to crawl out my funk... it's just like every time I gain a step up the ladder... it feels like I'm slammed down two rungs with his latest actions.
(5) How do you keep the door opened enough to keep communication there,... be his friend without it killing you little by little on the inside? I was doing SO well... now I just feel the cuts open the wound again and again and when they do... it's like I’m right back at square one.
