For the Guy with Kids and a WW 10

[hopeful4her]

I did end up having a stay home night. Got a lot of needed rest. I haven't slept well this past week and then Friday....I just needed it. Watched some Olypics. I went into town to pick up a video, return one of the shirts I got a couple days ago and get some more school supplies for D11. She and I must have had at least 15 text exchanges. She always initiates them and I hope her mother realizes it, but I think D11 does it when GBG is not around.

I really miss them.

Friday, during my lunch, I also went to buy a new belt at a clothing store. Now, I know that my exSIL from my first marriage works there. At least she used to. I have been thinking a lot about my first wife. I have spoken to my exSIL before at the store once. Compared to the rest of her family, she was the black sheep and we always got along. I have even run into my ex's older brother and his family on several locations. Our relationship was always strained, but he was always nice when we've seen each other after the divorce. Even came up to me with his whole family at a restaurant to say hello. Introduced him to my new family. D6 was maybe 18 months old.

He became nice AFTER the divorce.

I have NEVER run into my ex, though. As small as my world is here, and all the people I run into, including her family, I find it strange to never have run into her. Even her favorite cousins wife was a nurse at the nursery where D6 was born. My world here is really small. I hear she still has the house, remarried, had a child.

I think about her because I was the one that left.

I have said before that I have become a firm believer in "What goes around, comes around." I'm getting what I deserved. The difference is that she didn't really fight for us. One suggestion of counseling and a couple attempts at contact and that was it.

I told myself that if my exSIL was there, that I would ask about her sister and maybe get an email address. Maybe apologize to my ex. Something I have lived with for years.She wasn't there.

I go to return my shirt at Kohls and who is working customer service? Yup. ExSIL.

After someone else helped me, I go to her register and say "Hey, you sure get around."

She agrees and asks how I'm doing. I say really good and say goodbye because she is busy.

What are the odds? And to not have seen my ex in 15 years just amazes me. Must be a reason for it. But to see my exSIL when I just thought about looking for her JUST the day before. I hadn't thought about her for a couple years. Last time I saw her was when I found out she worked at that place. She met the whole family. Even GBG.

Anyhow, I went to rent a video. "The Eye". Kind of trippy. Went to the grocery store to get the supplies and got myself a steak to cook.

Night wasn't so bad. It is just weird when you are totally alone at home and you really don't want to be. I don't think that you girls here really understand the feeling. Your kids are with you most of the time. You probably welcome the time alone sometimes. What I'm experiencing with them gone a week at a time, is HARD. The house is TOO quiet and I hate it.

And they are not coming back HERE until after school on Monday. We all decided to let them get to school from the apartment on Monday.

I can' wait until I see them tomorrow.

Time for church now.