Help, it seems my 35 year old wife is in MLC #12

[Imageer]

Mine obviously thought it will be better when we separate, and more recently when the D is final. She is "stressed" constantly now and I have stopped asking why.

Before W moved in to her dump, she actually said to me "I'm very stressed right now but it will be better after I move" This was in reference to her panic attacks.

They lasted the better part of a year after she moved. I think she still has them but won't admit it.

I started out by listening to the stress in her voice but never asked her about it. Then I changed my mind.

Now when she sounds down, I often ask her if she is ok. I sometimes ask her if she would like to talk about it. She always says she is ok and never talks about it but I feel like I'm doing the right thing for asking.

I hope the day will come that she will open up and talk. We have never been good at communication. Given the opportunity, that will never be the case again.

[sleeper]

Imageer,

I just read your post about your W having a poor memory. Over the past 20 months (our timelines are similar) X has commented "cool t-shirt, where'd you get it?" about three or four times referring to the same t-shirt. She has also asked similar questions over and over about a bracelet I bought for myself, in addition to, "Who bought that for you?". I have often wondered how she functions with such a bad memory. There have been memory issues at work, she owns the place, and therefore she is not held accountable.

I totally understand your comment about having made the right choice. I also understand your comment about communication being improved if given the opportunity.

If our wives only had a clue as to what the future could hold.

[Imageer]

My W is having work issues too. She has made a couple major mistakes and was worried about getting fired. She has also told me that a coworker told her that management was not happy with her performance. She has a big job and a lot of responsibility.

Also, W says that the woman that hired her "talks about her behind her back" Considering that everybody that she works directly with is married / family people (Versus the Single/divored/partiers that she worked with before the bomb) I can't imagine what she would have to talk about (sarcasm) considering W's lifestyle choices and the fact that they thought she was a married woman with children when they interviewed her only to find out that she abandoned her family, became a partier and lives the life of a lesbian as soon as they hired her.

This is unusual for W. She has always excelled at her job.

I've wondered in the past what effect it would have on this if she got fired.

To me, it all points to issues going on within her beyond marital trouble.

[sleeper]

Yeah, mine also had a little paranoia going on early in this. Interesting how the paranoia is directed at a third party rather than at the LBS. Seems like we recieve all the other negative energy.

[missmyfriend]

Ima, sorry to hear that she continues to stay in the dark. I am a firm believer that some people have to hit bottom before they can turnaround and that fits with MLC.

[Imageer]

MMF, good to hear from you buddy. We haven't talked in a while. how are things going for you?

[missmyfriend]

Not bad. Both the kids and work are keeping me very busy. With school starting, one in high school, the other two in middle school, things are interesting.

[lawless]

Ima,

Still with the same GF for now but am slowing things way down. We've been living almost as if we were married and it bothers her as well as me. Time to take some of my life back as we've been spending ridiculous amounts of time together with no time to be alone or to do our own thing.

My X has lost her job and is now trying to use me for a sounding board/ shoulder to cry on, I just nod my head and wonder what she must be going through. She keeps talking about moving away but I don't think she will as she has been involved with the kids way more lately. I barely recognize her anymore she is dressing a little more her age now but is "puffy" looking, almost swollen. It must be the piercings in her face that did it.

I would say my X is near rock bottom but not there yet and we are about 2 months shy of separation.

Life goes on for me just the same as it always did now that the pain of the split is gone. Funny thing is that I never thought I would be OK being alone or in a different R, I see now that I need no one to complete me, and it is a pretty good feeling.

You shall see what I mean some day

[Imageer]

Funny thing is that I never thought I would be OK being alone or in a different R, I see now that I need no one to complete me, and it is a pretty good feeling.

This very thing troubles me. However, I still think / hope that it will not come to that.

I'm glad to hear things are going well for you. It's no big surprise that you W is going downhill in her life. It's sad that she got herself pregnant and that is was the final nail in the coffin of your M. It's sad for that kid that she will forever look at him/her and see the disaster that her life has become.

[Imageer]

I couple of things have happened in the last couple of day. Nothering super serious but interesting.

I found out that my dog wasn't able to live at my condo. I was talking to my W and told her. 5 minuted later, she calls me back and suggests that she take him. I told her that I wasn't sure I wanted to do that but I would think about it.

After thinking about it I decided that it would be best for the dog so I emailed W and told her. She called me about a minute later and asked if she could have the dog tonight. I took the dog to her place this evening.

Ultimately, I may end up getting the dog back because my dog and the dog that OW brought home might not get along. They fought a lot. However, the interesting thing about this is how fast W jumped on the idea of having our dog. I've often said that I found it interesting that W has not mention the dog since she left even though we bought him as an 8 week old puppy, 12 years ago and she always loved that dog.

It would seem that she may not have talked about him at all but she possibly was still missing him by how fast she jumped at the opportunity.