Here I am....real life and all.

[Starshyne]

Hi Lodo,

Not feeling ready for a date doesn't make you pathetic at all. I am not ready for real serious relationship or anything like that. But going out with someone of the opposite sex for Chinese and a movie was really good for my PMA. Realizing that men who aren't my former H, find me attractive is a wonderful feeling.

I started school on Monday and it has been terrible. Things have changed and there are issues. I find that when I have had bad days, it makes being divorced more difficult for me. I miss having my husband to talk to me about my day and reassure me that everything is going to get better. I miss having him to cuddle with and fix me diner because I am too stressed out. Instead I come home to an empty house and as a result of everything that is going on, I feel empty as well. I have had a difficult past few days emotionally.

Having to tell people that I am divorced is painful as well. People expect you to be happy about it. I am not happy at all. I didn't want it, but was forced to do it.

My exh has been coming over and starting to get some of his stuff. I have learned that his new apartment is near my house (oh joy). Also he is off again with the OW and wanted to know how he could go about getting a date!?!?! Huh????

[RSmiles]

[quote= Also he is off again with the OW and wanted to know how he could go about getting a date!?!?! Huh???? [/quote]

Starshyne,

OMG- I am so sorry your stbx is acting so insensitive and also lives nearby too. It sounds like you've put up with so much already. I'm glad you had a good date recently. You deserve it! I don't enjoy telling people I'm going through a D- sometimes I try to avoid it but I know how hard it is trying to share stories or experiences. For some reason tons of instances keep coming up like that right now for me too. (14 yrs w. X)

[MichelleLT]

(((Sara)))

Glad he is being friendly. Sorry he is being so insensitive. He is pretty dense lol.

[klm]

Hey sara, haven't posted to you in a while but I have been keeeping up.

That OW is a real piece of work. I just can't believe how she contacts you like that. Crazy.

Has never cheated on anybody, has a full time job, his own house.

Anymore dates with this guy? The guy I have been out with has a good job and his own house too....so I see how that can be a plus for you....I think our xh's were a lot alike when it came to money.

I talk about experiences with xh a lot too. Just a hard thing not to do, but I have noticed that it is fading.

Sorry you are still getting drama from xh but I think you are handling it well.

[Starshyne]

Things are going well, but I am extremely stressed out with being back at work (I am a teacher). We have a whole new program and things are insane adn very confusing to me.

H continues to call on a regular basis. Half of the time he just wants to chat, which I don't understand at all. This is the newest tm from him

I'm sorry sara 4 adultery. im truly sorry I made a extreme mistake

I am not sure where this stuff is coming from? Is he finally hitting bottom and realizing what he has done? Or is he just saying that stuff to make himself feel better? Sometimes I still question if I moved too quickly to divorce. But then I remember how miserable I was with him refusing to leave the house and how cruel and awful he always was to me during that time. I did what I needed to do. There was no signs of him changing at that point.

He came and got his stupid huge TV yesterday. Praise God! When we were married, he bought this TV, after we (or so I thought) agreed not to buy it. That was our first major fight as a married couple and it was a major point of arguement for the rest of the marriage. The day after he and OW came to declare their devotion to each other, I had the TV moved to the garage. It has been there ever since...but now it is out of my life forever!

I just got back from Walmart. That is a difficult place for me. Too many thought of my xh. Too many feelings. But I made it and I didn't cry.

I went on a 2nd date with the guy with his own house last night. I had a delightful time and even got a good night kiss! I really am liking this man. He is just so nice and normal. He listens to me when I am talking and remembers things I have said to him. I am glad that I have gone out with him a few times.

Sara

[Rob1231]

Sara, Just like before - no telling what is motivating the mixed-up thoughts whirling through his addled brain. Try not to read too much into it one way or the other - work towards what is good and healthy and happy for YOU (whatever that may be), and don't let him suck you in while he spins in his little dance where "it's all about him".

Glad you are having fun dating. I'm sure you know all about "don't rush into anything" - but if it makes you feel better and valued and stronger for yourself, then I say go for it. (((Hugs!)))

[lodo]

Hi Sara,

Just wanted to say hi. My W keeps trying to maintain regular contact as well - last time we were together she kept holding my hand, laying her head on my shoulder, and giving me long hugs. Then she emailed me the next day with the date to meet the D judge! What is it with these people?! Either love us or let us go!

We don't have wal-marts out here, but I feel a little pathetic whenever I go to Target or Ikea because I'm still buying basic things. I feel like I have a big "Divorced" sign on me whenever I do this. Is that how you feel too?

Wow - a second date and a kiss?

lodo

[klm]

Sorry things are so stressfull at work Sara...that doesn't help in the midst of everything else.

I have questioned if I moved to quickly on D too...but then I remember how bad he treated me. How do you feel about him texting/calling you? Do you think it makes it harder for you to move on?

Wal-mart/grocery shopping is kind of hard for me too. It was something xh always liked to do together so I understand the memories there...but I think it will get easier in time.

That is so exciting about the second date...and kiss!!! So glad you are having a little fun.

((Sara))

[karen43]

I'm sorry sara 4 adultery. im truly sorry I made a extreme mistake


Sara

Hi, Sara, I'm back (online)! I've always thought your X sounds immature and think he does with that too. I do think he probably has regrets and sends you that probably mostly to make himself feel better? Maybe he just needs time to grow up and I don't think that will happen in a month or 2. (((Sara))) Karen

[Starshyne]

So XH calls me at 1:00am and is crying. He starts begging me to take him back. Saying that he really messed up and that no one will love me as much as I do. That he has a sexual problem and should have sought couseling instead of finding another woman.

It broke my heart to say, but I had to tell him no. I can't take him back. My head says that would be the stupidest thing I could do. My heart was saying....YES come back and we will work it out! But I would be such a fool. So I was strong and told him that I couldn't do that.

He is still talking to the OW. Just tonight he was over to get this things (and he looked like Bozo the Clown I must add), I could hear her on talking on the other line. It irkes me that he is still with her. She is just so BAD!

Good news....new guy is coming over right now to help me refinance the house.

Sara