Backsliding

[EnergyAZ]

Back in June, my WAW decided to give our M another try.

We have been having an awesome summer and we booked our family vacation, a cruise along the Mexican Riveria. It was to be a grand celebration - to reconnect & rekindle as well as to celebrate the fact we both got great new jobs. We leave on this cruise in a little over a week. We hosted a pool/BBQ party, we did day trips, family fun days, dates, regular sex life, it was great - it was honeymoon!

2 days ago, she backslid back to where she was last spring...aka no energy to invest in our marriage, no interest in our relationship, ILUBNILWU, you deserve better, etc

And as she backslid, so did I - back into that blubbering clingy fool who cant stop talking about the R and what the hell happened after everything had been progressing so well.

So here we are, 1 week removed from the cruise. She now wants to treat it as a final special memory of our family for our son, rather than the original motive for the trip; the celebration of our new lives together. This trip (from my perspective) is totally ruined now, I have no idea how I am going to handle it. I asked her if she could just play the role of my wife..just for that week, she said she didnt want to confuse me, lead me on, give me false hope...

I had barely begun to heal when these wounds were ripped open again.

I feel like I am back to square 1. I am so frustrated and distraught and dont know what to do. So I am back here again, refreshing my mind on the strategies that helped me get this far.

I have no idea what-so-ever on what I might have done to trigger her backslide. She gave me the wholly unsatisfying answer of "Its not you, its me." That doesnt help explain anything!

She went on to apologize about how sorry she is for hurting me again, how wonderful I have been, how great the changes I have made for myself are....but she doesnt feel any chemistry & unlike last time, wont allow me to 'talk her into trying again'

I asked her to give it time, that our M isnt going to be fixed over night and that it would take some time. She apparently considers our R as a waste of time and she wants to move forward.

Now I need some suggestions from folks who did have a backslide during the piecing phase, and how they handled it. Just treat it like the original bomb and start all over again? Or is there hope this backslide could reverse itself as quickly as it came in?


BTW - last night I ordered "The Marriage Breakthrough" DVDs from this site. I have no idea if she will watch them with me or not.