Detaching

[Silver Fox]

Thanks bnd for getting us back on topic - although as a newbie here it's been interesting!

Yes, sg makes a good point about listening to our MLC spouses. Several times I tried to convince my h that he was living in denial, was in a fog, was not himself, blah, blah, blah, & he said "but this is the way I feel right now & you're not respecting my feelings".

Fortunately, he has not spewed out any anger during all this time, just sadness & apologies for it happening (the OW).

Being still is the best advice I've received too. Since my h is major ADHD & I am more Ghandi like, I've always felt we were very complimentary. You have to really understand your spouse's personality & character - then - when the crisis hits & they change overnight, remember that the "real" person is still deep down in there somewhere.

This seems to be when detaching helps the most but I fear sometimes that if I detach emotionally will my love detach too?