Detaching is not about giving up on your m or not loving your spouse. It is about making yourself healthy and happy. Like BND said it is detaching emotionally and not being sucked into the drama. You cannot work on yourself if you are too wrapped up in what your WAS is doing. It does not mean you stop caring for them but you need to look after yourself. You cannot do anything for an mlc spouse but you can do plenty for yourself. Drop the rope.
