Sleeper, I understand what you are saying and commend you for it.
I would point out though that standing is not always the harder option, getting a D you didn't want and having to find a new life and way of living after many years is extremely hard, many of us did it with the help of advice from this boardGod,s help and getting a life.
I take it you and your wife are still married, she dates other men, you do not date. I guess that is confusing for your children but as long as they know they are loved and have a stable home life that is good. Some children are having to witness a far less desirable home life. Which is manifest in their behaviour. I believe this is not what Jesus would want.

The difficulty I have is the advice that is given to D people and one partner has remarried. It is still the same. God hears your prayers your marriage will be restored? Having said that I notice it is being tempered somewhat now.

I say standing can be the easier option if the alternative means you have to support yourself, both emotionally, and financially.I have no problem with that either each to their own but I really don't see it as sound DB advice and it bares no resemblence to Michele Weiner-Davis Divorce Busting teaching.
This is after all her site and her forums.
Nor are those people going to be ready to have a lasting and happier marriage where both partners are of equal importance and both partners have their needs met, if and when the waw spouse ever returns,imo.

Just maybe those with such a Bible based view, would be better and happier not to post on such a wordly secular site and use one of the many that cater to those of the same persusion.
Here advice from a huge range of people and persuasions is offered, it usually comes from experience of what has worked.
We all want to see marriages restored but we also want to see the poster first find themselves and their own happiness. Not to feel a failure if they choose to give up and except the reality of their situation.Nor do we wish to encourage posters to stay in miserable, abusive situations and tell them to regard it as God testing their faith.

Before people jump on me for my opinions I am not singling out any particular person or people. Just suggesting that those who rely primarily and wholly on bible verses,prayer and newsletters from other sites and take offence and indeed regard other pov as attacks from the enemy would be happier elsewhere.IMO