Help, it seems my 35 year old wife is in MLC #12

[Imageer]

Sleeper,

I don't think that there is really anything that you can do exactly to become more detached. I think it is just something that happens in time.

I've been doing this for about 19 months now and I can say that I am in a much better place than I was 19 months ago. I don't think I am really detached, but I am much better at not stressing over everything she says and does. However, I do often think about her and I do often think about my actions in a "does this help or hurt our chances to reconcile" type of way. I'd like to think that there is a definate corallation between what makes me a better person and what helps our chances to reconcile.

Right or wrong I have become very righteous in how I conduct myself. I view what I do and how I conduct myself as being driven by what is right for me, my children and my marriage. I tend to view what my W does as the actions of a person with issues.

I was thinking about it last night and I think my W is headed toward a wall. In my mind, the biggest reason she left was the state of our finances. She even said at one point "I can't continue like this for another 10 years". Interestingly, she is basically in the same position now financially as before she left. Where as I am increasingly in a better finanial position and I'm doing it on a single income. If we were backl together, we would be in a nice spot financially. It will be interesting to see how this affects her going forward.