Detaching

[sleeper]

qoe100, If I may....

Everyone must decide what is best and right for themselves and their situation.

Some choose to stand no matter what happens and some have a definate breaking point. I'm sure some have chosen to stand and later realized they too had a breaking point. From your posts I gather that you made your decision based solely on how you were being personally affected by your X's actions. That is OK.

In my sitch I know that I love this woman and she loves me (she says so). She is "messed up" (her words). I am standing for our M and told her so over a year ago. My kids know this too as they overheard me telling her this and my D immediately thanked me for doing so. The also know that mommy is dating and they know that daddy isn't.

Last night my children heard when X asked me if I had a "hot date." Later as I was dropping kids off to the sitter's my D asked me if I had a date. You should have seen the concern on her face. I didn't have a date and was glad to tell her so. It was a party to welcome a new staff menber at work and I felt I needed to attend as it was hosted by the boss at her home. Moments like that remind me why I am standing and that it is the right choice or me and my family.

I'm doing this for four people; my kids, my X and myself. Doing the right thing is rarely easy and I sometimes have to remind myself of that. If it were EVERYONE would do the right thing all the time.

I also have to remind myself that doing the right thing doesn't always result in a favorable outcome for the individual who has made that choice. Jesus did the right thing his entire life and his Father was "well pleased" with him. We all know what happened to Jesus on this earth before he assended to his (and our) Father. He knew what was going to happen to him all along.

Jesus did the right thing anyway.