There is nothing YOU can do to keep him from starting another A if he wants to or to keep him in the M if he decides to leave. We are only responsible for ourselves. Also, you are not a "fool" or any other term for trying to trust your H and rebuild your marriage. It is a decision you are making for YOU.
Applying terms like fool and worrying about what your H having another A says about you is your ego talking. Unfortunately, if you listen and take seriously what your ego says, you will continue to hurt yourself with your thoughts.
What does Mo want for herself? What are her decisions? Get clarity about what you are willing to work through and what is the point of no return. Only you know these things, and they are the only things that matter. Not what others might think, not whatever story society likes to make about what it means because your H had/has an A.
You are only in control of your own choices in life. You are NOT a victim--you can choose to leave at any time, but at this point, you are choosing to stay and work on your M.
Now, back to DB basics. Until you are completely happy with yourself and know you will be okay no matter what your H chooses to do, no R is going to work out all that well. Go to your friend's wedding, celebrate, and let go of what ifs about your H. Either he's going to have another A, or he's not. That's about HIM and his beliefs that happiness lies outside of himself. He may try to make it about you, but that's only to avoid responsibility for his own happiness.
You can do this. I promise.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
