I know I am supposed to expect this, and I do, but it doesn't make it any easier.
The only difference is that I don't feel this overpowering need to remind him that I am here. He knows I am. But I miss talking to him...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Thanks Julia, that is what I keep reminding myself! I am doing okay, I miss him, but it is not like it used to be where I have this weight on my chest and feel like I can't breath. I actually feel like I am starting to breath again.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I'm sorry. I know this is hard, and I'm right there with you trying to power through the periods of dark/dim.
Sounds like you are coping well, not feeling the need to remind him you're there. You're right, he does know you're there, or better yet, maybe he'll start to wonder whether you will always be there, get a little nervous/curious and reach out to you.
Well done on hitting the 4 day mark Lola!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
I'm the same. I walked into town today and this was the first time I didn't constantly think about the situation and mull over everything and feel suffocated. At first I was shocked at that and worried that I was letting go but then I realised what a good thing it was and it doesn't mean I care about him any less or want him back any less, it just meant I had a mental break. That has to be good.
Hopefully it'll mean that when we do have interactions we'll be able to handle them better because we'll be stronger.
Fat man sitting on a little stool Takes the money from my hand while his eyes take a walk all over you Hands me the ticket smiles and whispers good luck Cuddle up angel cuddle up my little dove Well ride down baby into this tunnel of love
I can feel the soft silk of your blouse And them soft thrills in our little fun house Then the lights go out and its just the three of us You me and all that stuff were so scared of Gotta ride down baby into this tunnel of love
Theres a crazy mirror showing us both in 5-d Im laughing at you youre laughing at me Theres a room of shadows that gets so dark brother Its easy for two people to lose each other in this tunnel of love
It ought to be easy ought to be simple enough Man meets woman and they fall in love But the house is haunted and the ride gets rough And youve got to learn to live with what you cant rise above if you want to ride on down in through this tunnel of love
This is the Tunnel of Love from Bruce Springsteen, and where my title comes from
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Thanks. I guess this is what detaching feels like. I do love him, and don't have any other goals but to save my marriage. Last night I prayed God would take away some of the pain, and apparently he has. It is a little scary, I wonder if maybe we think that if we are not in pain it means we don't care, and thats why we hang on to the pain. But I still care, still love him, and still pray that we can recommit at some point. I just don't feel the need to check my phone all the time, and have been doing well with leaving the ringer off. Too well...my BFF Rose keeps joking I never answer the phone anymore!!! LOL I remind her she is the one who told me not to be so attached to it...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
ITH you need a new thread, but I wanted to tell you that even if you only smile on the phone, he can hear it
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
It is a little scary, I wonder if maybe we think that if we are not in pain it means we don't care, and thats why we hang on to the pain. But I still care, still love him, and still pray that we can recommit at some point.
That is it in a nutshell really. It does feel somewhat liberating to be released from feeling that way. I feel like I am reclaiming me.
ITH - I thought exactly the same thing as Lola. That is what DBing is all about and your smile will show through whatever medium you are using to communicate, honestly
Only issue is that I need to not be TOO perky with my H. Jody actually told me to tone it down a bit. I am now going for serene, calm, and contemplative rather than exuberant and upbeat. She said H needs compassion and empathy and if he is depressed and I am wildly happy, it just really looks like I don't care (one of his complaints is that I didn't care about his feelings).
Anyway sorry not trying to hijack the thread!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
