Aussie Girl - Trying to be patient

[One Day]

Hey Essie Future Girl/Babe

I hope you're still on, but guess it might be near bedtime for you!!

Sometimes I think he backs off because he needs more space, sometimes I think he is insecure and needs to be reassured that I dont think he is a bad person and I hate him.

I think it's probably a bit of both that he needs. He must definitely be feeling guilty about his behaviour when he left (hence his comments expressing his regrets), so I think he does need reassurance. However, I don't think you should tell him he's not a bad person, just consistently thank him for good behaviours (DB Coach recommended this to me). I liked your text about last night (but maybe would not have mentioned my Dad ).

What should I do now?

I think it's about being patient, showing you're supportive but not expecting him to be very responsive immediately. IMHO he made a big step forwards yesterday so probably will be needing some cave time. You've texted so now give him a smidgen of space to move into. He wants to date you? Let him lead but be sure to encourage his positive moves.

Earlier this week we talked on the phone and he sounded stressed about work. I sent him a text thanking him for something and then said "you sound a bit stressed, so I'm sending you a virtual massage". He replied "thanks your so sweet mwha". To which I replied "And you never know where a virtual massage might lead..... wink".

I love this exchange- very flirtatious and he responded initially. Great news!!

And I thought I scared him off, because of no response. But he mentioned it on the date, and said something about how he would just rather come around to my place instead of it being virtual.... I get confused by his signals.

I read on another thread that the DB Coach said that just because they don't respond, doesn't mean they don't notice. I think keep doing what you're doing- friendly, playful, flirtatious. it's working even if the results aren't immediate. I know that's a harder situation to deal with because immediate feedback is really great, but he did respond. it just took him some time and he wanted to take it further Am I making sense?

Maybe I should wait all day tomorrow to see if he makes contact, and then call him tomorrow night if he doesnt reach out by then?

I'm not sure what the pattern of interaction has been recently- has H mainly been initiating, or have you? If it's you I think backing off is a good strategy (with no expectations!). If he doesn't respond by then how about sending a naughty text about how you really enjoyed feeling his sexy lips on yours yesterday night- compliment him in some way and show him you enjoyed it in a way he seems to want more of- a dirty way!! (?)

I'm SO EXCITED for your Ess! And think I understand at the same time how hard this must be. Have you checked out the threads in piecing? There's also an advice thread in there with tips in it which might be really helpful. Once you're rebuilding an R I think there's a whole new set of challenges to face.....

YAY!!!!