aiming for a new me 11

[glamgirl]

Dar my h shuts me out too. He said why should he bother to tell me anything if all I do is judge him and tell him what to do.

I am only putting this out there, since this was how my h was feeling.

Now I give NO advice. My h isn't asking for it so NO need to offer it. Now I just listen and validate.

Could this maybe be how your h is feeling?

[glamgirl]

Dar I too worry about the timeline of 2 years. It's only a number. What if you had the rest of your life to spend with your h? The 2 yrs will mean nothing later in life.

When your h does share things with you, like not sleeping. Say something like h I am so sorry to hear you are having trouble sleeping. I know you have been so worried about your dad. Is there anything I can help you with? Your offering support and concern. As these conversations continue he will open up more and more. Trust me on this.

My h talks all the time now about his work etc. He does not talk about himself much and us rarely.

Is it possible you two see a mc?

[Maya44]

I have done these things. I've always offered my condolences,help, time, care, etc. He seems to talk more now but not a whole lot.

No MC for him. He's not ready for that. I see a C on my own and can't wait for tomorrow appt!

[glamgirl]

So you have seen progress then? My h doesn't talk a whole lot either. I know this will get better with time. When they do talk, just do a whole lot of listening and smile and say things like that is so awesome h etc. Then sit back and watch the show.

Patience Dar that is what your sitch needs. The more love and support you give the more your h will give back. It may take a long time, but something about the fruits of your labor.

[brandnewday]

Sometimes Dar, we need to remember that "we" are the prize, NOT the WAS.

He needs to get to a point where he needs to win you back.

You don't need to try and keep appeasing him.

MLC or not, they still need to make their own choices and realize that when they walked away they caused a family to break apart and for trust to be violated.

They need to earn it back, in their time.

Love him from a distance.

Pray for him.

Let him feel the loss of losing you, let him miss you.

[fig]

Dar

God always hears our prayers

He always answers them

sometimes He has a better answer than we do (usually in my case anyway)

looking for a specific answer isn't faith

faith is knowing that the RIGHT answer will come
we just have to be open to it

there is a saying that when we pray for something, God doesn't give it to us, he gives us the opportunity to find it within ourselves

[Maya44]

Thanks all!

Had a crappy weekend (as BND well knows! ) but hanging in there! Wed is the 2 year mark and it's getting old. I've got a personal trainer coaching me along though, so hopefully I'll get this right and have a good outcome regardless!

[MidwesternGirl]

OH, Dar--I am sorry.

I think so many have said it best to me: it is darkest before dawn meaning it gets much worse just right before it gets better.

You will know it when it happens. Hard to describe but it is gradual.

[brandnewday]

I think you need to get yourself a new text message plan!!!

[Maya44]

I think I do to! I just added it and it's 300 per month. I think I need to up it to the 500 plan.
Ladies and gentlemen....my personal trainer. Love you!