One Last Pull for this Knot to Break

[sleeper]

I was kinda down all day today. It's been a very hectic week at work, some other things going on and it could be fatigue.

So X called multiple times this afternoon. I had my ringer off and didn't hear, thought about not answering when I realized it was her but I answered because she kept calling. She wanted to borrow something that was at my apt. I agreed to let her borrow it, told her I would drop it off on the way to the babysitter.

She immediately asked if I had a "hot date." I said no (the truth), just going out. She told me where she was and who she was with and that she would meet me to get the item she wanted.

As I was taking the item to her I called one of the people she had been with and asked what X's reaction was to me "going out." She said X was truly happy for me, and that X said I was really a great, nice guy and deserved to find someone. I explained I wasn't going on a date and this friend said she would tell X she ran into me later with a really hot blonde on my arm. I said OK.

When I met X we joked around a bit and she asked me again who I was going out with, she really wanted to know. I explained I was just going out, not going on a date.

In some ways there has been improvement because I am no longer the focal point of her anger and am now a "great, nice guy."

On the other hand I feel she is truly done with me. It doesn't bother her if I date. In fact she wants me to "find someone."

Truth is I don't want anyone (but her d*mnit). I have no desire to date at all.