as the king on undetatchment, let me tell you.... when another person is involved, not detaching WILL push them further into the new R. you leave it alone, and there is no common enemy. nobody to be saved from. early on i was horrible, and seeing her everyday exchanging the kids didn't help. she still feeds off me for her drama dose, and trust me after 3 years of BS and a broken engagement attributed to it all, i am telling you it isn't fun. fact is she still isn't detached, maybe because i wasn't, maybe because she never got over it. all i can tell you is it isn't pretty. finally letting go of my resentment from it all, i can tell you how freeing it is, but whether or not detachment would have saved my M? i don't know. i know that if i would have detached and forgiven earlier i would be better off today. you aren't detached until you forgive and let go of the bitterness and anger. then you can realize that it ISN'T all about your spouce. it isn't over until you let go of it all.
Last edited by phoenyx; 08/23/0804:20 AM.
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
