MLC BS

[Imageer]

It seems like it's happened so fast....All the nights of praying and hoping and trying to DB wasn't enough.

I think you are putting to many expectation on this in too little time. What your wife is doing now is a function of her current state of mind. This will take more than a year to resolve itself.

My W and I are more argumentative types and I have a hard time maintaining a civil relationship with her.

I find and I have noticed in others, that our MLCers tend to mirror how we deal with them. If you are argumentative, you will get argumentative back. Trying being nice to her. Kill her with kindness. It's like you tell a kid. "Treat others like you want to be treated"

When I first came here validation was the word of choice. If she tells you that you're an A-hole, say to her "I'm sorry you feel that way" It's corny but it does work and it stops the escallation of anger.

It helps to remind yourself that her anger may be directed at you but it is often more about her than you.

My W doesn't seem to realize the damage she is doing to our 3 daughters either.

Your W is no different than any of the others. Either none of them realize this, or they do but they don't tell us or they are so caught up in their own self centeredness (I don't think that is a word) that they don't care. However, what she does or does not realize at the moment is not your concern right now. You have to be the rock for your kids. You can't control how she deals with them.