Another one joins the flock (III)

[Mike85]

Mowed the in-laws' lawn yesterday and MIL needed to hang and talk. She and FIL just needed to vent their issues, so I sat and listened, making no comments.

MIL admitted that she made a tactical error a few days ago in telling W about the spare room that she and FIL have set up for when W and OM break up, especially since she foolishly told W that "statistically, [OM] isn't 'the one,' so when you inevitably break up, there's a safe place for you here." Criminy! Naturally, it made W defensive about OM, and she went on and on about how OM "makes [her] happy."

At least MIL said that she was able to keep a straight face when W told her that OM said that he was going to clear over $150K this year. Hell, I fell off the chair laughing when MIL said it. W and OM live in a craphole summer rental apartment that is basically a furnished closet. I've been in it. W has had to go in and work on what *were* her previous days off to help pay the bills that are piling up from their "lake lifestyle." If OM makes $150K a year, I'm the Pope. Just another sign of W's clueless infatuation - she was blind to his alcoholism, forgave him for abandoning her forty miles from home, puts up with his chain-smoking, tobacco-chewing, compulsive overeating and discomfort with our kids.

After we left the in-laws', I took the oldest son to football practice. Our friends (the ones that are ostensibly "more W's friends" and who live next to W and OM) sat next to me. Over the course of two hours, they brought up W at one point. I mentioned the 'safe room' my in-laws set up for W. I brought up the possibility of them doing something similar, since they live next door to W and b/c W makes a big point of claiming that they're "thick as thieves." The female friend looked at me weird and said that W never talks to her any more and pretty much even avoided her during the week of camping. Her hubby backed her account and said that "no way" would he put W up. The wife backed off the "no way" bit (she's a sweetheart and would never turn away a friend), but it still amazes me that W feels the need to still lie about stuff like friends.

Today, went to C. Caught her up on the whole "fun" of two weeks ago, when OM went on his bender. C asked me to describe how I felt at different points in my account, and I admitted that part of the motivation for my "noble effort" was the deliberate effort on my part to provide a character contrast between myself and OM. I pointed out that no matter what happens down the road, what OM did na dhow I responded will ALWAYS be in W's mind.

C applauded my effort (and my honesty) but cautioned me about making sure that I take care of my own emotional and spiritual needs, not allowing my own self to be utterly consumed by my altruism/standing. She said that she still sees and hears a sadness in me, even as I show a brave face, and that I have to acknowledge and give time to the sadness and anger (constructively, of course). Gave me a lot to think about on my ride home.

When W dropped the kids off, they were all downright chipper and perky. W gave me a big hug and kiss. I tossed her a bag of "chocolate turtle" snack/party mix that was part of a "buy one get one free" deal. She loves chocolate. She thanked me and I got another hug and kiss.

Tomorrow - Webelo campout... in a neighbor's yard. Yep, that's roughing it.