Nothing really new here R with H remains friendly It always confuses me how these WAS want to keep up a friendship but dont want anything more I try not to read into it but I still feel it I feel attracted to H, and I sense and see him looking at me yet he always remains distant and leaves to pursue his bachlorhood I thought about asking H to hold D for a few months but then I spoke with a close friends who reminded me I could be still waiting in 7 years if I keep holding on I dont want to be in limbo anymore I will stand in my own way but I guess the D is a sign of closure and H wanted it so I really have no control just so baffling how a man can give it all up especially when our spouses get to expwerience unconditional love from us and see us become loving, validaing, caring wives peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Remember it is only a piece of paper. My H is married again but I still haven't given up on him just yet. I'm not going to wait around for him but I'm still praying for him. I have no desire to go out with anyone else right now, I'm just trying to take care of me & my dogs.
I just hope our H's know how much we really do love & care for them. No one will ever love them like we do!
Hi peace- There are so many questions that we will probably never get answered. <<<sigh>>> It can be so hard to accept that. I can only hope that things are getting easier for you.
Keep moving forward and focusing on you, your kids and your new business. Try to be happy with all of your blessings...even the blessing that your H wants to be a part of your kids lives. Things will eventually fall into place for you when you aren't even thinking about it.
As far as answers go, I feel eventually we will get some answers to why are WAS did what they did. No matter what happens in my situation, I need answers for closure.
Even if the answer is "I don't know why I did what I did", I will be fine with that. I just want to know if it was intentional or not.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Hi I went to L today we did a counter-petition L wrote on paper W is reluctant to agree that M is over and wants R with C I asked L to stipulate if D goes thru that W wants C for coparenting this could take a while going back and forth
H here He dyed his hair again and eyebrows- 3rd time this time the color came out better-wasnt orange funny how I never noticed him coloring his hair before MLC he seemed distant and quiet I couldnt help it I brought up the L he acts detached like the consequenced of D wont be partial financial wreckage for him He will be very limited and if L is correct , H will walk away with little he will get his freedom..that is the prize- right I need to let go and trust all will be OK I left D 13 says H on phone-- I hate that hes always talking to ??? I feel like I know so little about My H or anything he is currently doing maybe its better that way
No going back only forward and forward is good with or without him
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Hi Peace, I'm a newbie & have never posted to you before - sorry you are going through this. My sitch is similar - my H filed & I have to answer it soon. I also want to respond like you did - that I will consider reconciliation with C. I say detach as much as you can & stall the D too - the hair coloring is a sign he's in a panic. As I've read on many other posts - it ain't over til it's over.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Hello peace- I also think you are doing the right thing. You are firmly letting him know that the D isn't what you want but at the same time you are letting him know you aren't going to stand in his way. He can have his freedom is that is what he chooses...but with that choice, there will be a consequence. It is all up to him.
For me it has been better to not know what my H is doing. It just frustrates me and hurts me when I feel my H is intentionally excluding or choosing someone else's company over mine.
Weird that your H keeps dying his hair...is he really going gray??? My H told me today that he is getting a bunch of cosmetic dental work done. I have always wanted to grow old gracefully but now as it is staring me in the face, I might want to put up a little bit of a fight. Is this what our H's are doing...or does it go beyond that????
Quote:
No going back only forward and forward is good with or without him
I love this. Regardless of whether or not your are standing, move forward. Life is short and life is precious...live for today and tomorrow...and keep a little bit of hope that your H will figure things out.
Weird that your H keeps dying his hair...is he really going gray??? My H told me today that he is getting a bunch of cosmetic dental work done. I have always wanted to grow old gracefully but now as it is staring me in the face, I might want to put up a little bit of a fight. Is this what our H's are doing...or does it go beyond that????
I think it goes beyond that. In Frank Pittman's book - he calls it The Turning Points of a Marriage & says "Suddenly, one awakens & finds him or herself married to a settled, mature, middle-aged person, who is looking forward to growing older rather than struggling to stay young. This realization can be a point of panic."
(I'm new at this & can't figure out how to work the quote box, sorry!)
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
