Please help me to not give up............

[grant]

God, you really are an inspiration. I don't know how you find the time, energy and the compassion to reply post so frequently. I am so aware that I have an opportunity here to try to exercise some of the techniques in Michelle's book. I just hope that I can control myself, my broken heart and emotions. I'm afraid, knowing my wife as I do, that I don't currently share your optimist ( although much appreciated ) about OM situation. It is certainly true that he is dedicated to his children, a fact that I know my W finds extremely attractive. But having had the inside info from my wife in gory detail about their R, it doesn't seem terribly likely that this is will alter my situation any. I know I must stop obsessing about OM, his R with W and my W. But it is inescapable because of my kids R with this family. All of our lives seem to be inextricably linked somehow. That's all very very strange.

I wish that he was someone that my wife didn't know before. I guess I'm thinking out loud as I write here, but perhaps it really is about how OUR R is dead, more than that he is the new R. I'm very scared and confused. She's just SO not the person I know (certainly in her behaviour toward me), apart from her absolute resolute dedication to our kids.
I have, at Lola's suggestion, made an appointment with a therapist\counseller next week. I am hoping that she will be able to assist in some way with many of my core issues in my life and my relationship, or lack thereof with my W.

Most of all, I'm hoping that she wont simply say that I should give up now, as my R with W if clearly over.
I seem to recall Michelle saying that were that the case, then one should find a new therapist. Guess I'll just wait and see how it pans out. I am anxious though, that I do make headway with trying to cope with all the issues in my life. I know there are no quick or easy answers.
My wife's hair has begun to fall out too, and SHE has now consulted a therapist\ healer\ dietician. I feel certainly partially responsible for her stress, although it was not me who wanted to end our marriage. I don't want any of the people I love in my life to suffer needlessly in all this. Especially the kids, who are, quite frankly, bloody amazing. I keep praying, for guidance, strength, courage, and most of all, for the knowledge of God's will, and the the power to carry it through.

Praying I can just get through tomorrow without any major DB blunders. Take Care TD, and Thanks........... Really.