I am listening to BND, and others. I think part of the problem is that I was so caught up into it all. Some of the other posters also seemed to bog me down. I was also back to class. Then I was dealing with my cousin living here with his girls. Plus there was discipline issues with the children that I had to lay down the law. My head was pounding, racing, and I had that damn feeling of my gut going to my toes, and my heart being ripped out of my chest. I literally think my soul was breaking though.
I mean last night when I was playing guitar. I zapped something out of me. I felt like Eddie Vedder convulsion. I was trying to concentrate so hard and play. I had some kind of super shake.
I let her go.
You know it was funny I picked up the kids. I hung around for ahwhile at her parents. SIL talk to me a little. She was complaining about something to her husband. She said he never listens to me, and such. I said yeah well whatever I listened to my wife and look where it got me. She didn't know what to say. The arguement she had with him was about pictures. She just got pictures taken of the kids professionally and he wants to send them to all his relatives, but she paid for them. I said isn't your money both yours. She said no. She uses her child support to live. He has no money and too many toys. She said he wants to give pictures to people that do not even acknowledge the kids or her. I said SILNAME he is trying. Give him a break. He doesn't have a tight knit family like we do.
I was thinking. You are so screwed up. Why are you at moms and dads constantly. You got married, but you never left. It is beyond the story of everyone loves Raymond. She and her husband live behind her parents. She is always there. Her kids are always there.
I said you know I better get pictures of my God children. She said I would. We will see...
