Help, it seems my 35 year old wife is in MLC #12

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I did read bits and pieces of that. However, even though I get a bunch of newsletters daily on this topic, I don't read them nearly as much as I use to. It takes too much time and I find it drags me down.

In my mind, my W is sick. I'm not angry with her. I do very much love her. I have forgiven her long ago. Although, I don't think she needs forgivness, she needs help. I would love to help her (I have even dreamed that she would come to me for help) but I cannot help her unless she asks. She has aligned herself emotionally with her friend and she seeks help and validation from them. However, her friends are probably more messed up than she is.

I treat her as my wife even though she doesn't consider herself to be. I'm not hung up on her every move. I do like to watch her actions and wonder about her motives though. I find myself shaking my head at some of the things she does. For example, she moved in to her house and rather than unpacking, she decided to re-tile the kitchen back splash. Yes, some of the things she does hurt me emotionally. Like when she talks about OW like her and W and my kids are a family. but it goes away quickly and I end up laughing to myself at how ridiculous this situation is.

At the moment I'd like to think I'm in a good place mentally. I admit that I am very lonely and makes my mind wander. I have by no means given up on my marriage but I do not know what I would do if a woman came along and through herself at me.