lol bethie! and you are so right...this is wrong and lwb DOES know what she has to do. lwb, my dear, you are going to have to tap that inner bitch methinks.
hell, maybe you should have scared the crap out of him standing over him with the messy hair in the middle of the night.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Ladies, .... messy hair does not scare most men. Far from it. In fact, the tossled-hair look is often quite attractive. Even one lock or strand of hair out of place in just the right way is enough to... but, ahem, I digress.
Lwb, it's time your H suffer the consequences of his choices, especially when those choices are at odds with those of his W and family. You know what to do.
NC, you were the ONLY one that 'got it'. If I had come downstairs in my t-shirt and messed up hair, H would have chased me for sex. No kidding!!! lol lol But that was only one reason I didn't confront, I was exhausted and knew not to approach right then.
EVERYONE IS RIGHT!!! I need boundaries. We need to talk. Can't change the locks just yet, H still owns 1/2 the house. When the D is final though, I can change them, I suppose. Boundaries with the house will be hard, because he will be caring for them in MY home 4 nights a week. UGH I need a day job. lol
It is cruel for H to expect so much from me...a welcoming home, a friendship, for me to keep him as my best friend, etc. It just can't be that way. I know he is hurting, but I get frustrated. I feel empathy for him, but he has no room to even fathom what I am going through. He can't see past himself right now.
H has so much control over me still. I hate it. Some thoughts, some actions, I still stop and subconsciously (or even consciously) think what H will think or do after I make so-and-so decision/remark. Need to work on that, for sure.
You are simply incredible; you take my breath away.
Indifference to the other woman is a wonderful step in healing. A non adversarial divorce is almost unheard of. Earlier you had said you would be nice until the divorce was finalized. If that's the case, then dramatic actions (like changing the locks) might work against your goal. I've forgotten, why does he come sleep on the couch anyway?
You might not like the hold that Husband has on you, or that you can't completely cut the ties, but you do see clearly what's going on here. You're not deluding yourself ot putting you head in the sand. You just have to figure how to make it work for you while your husband is busy pulling his head out of his a$$.
