I'm fine. Snoozing happily on the sofa in front of the TV until the cat jumped on me and scared the sh!t out of me. lol. I'm trying to work up the energy to make it up the stairs...
Glad you had a good night, there were so many good things in there!!!
I realized the other day that I wasn't letting my body turn when I swing my driver! It was all arms. So it wasn't going anywhere. I only had a couple swings after that, but they were the best I've hit in ages! Of course, today, I'll probably miss the ball completely!
naej- I love that quote of your mother's. Brilliant!! In fact I might print it out and stick it on the fridge to remind myself. I love that you're Scouser- something to be proud of
Julia- sounds like a good evening. I'm keeping an eye on the Olympics program as I missed the opening ceremony.
Julia and naej- have a good BH yourselves. And thank you for being so positive about the interaction with H. I was pleased with it too, and it's nice to get validation.....
Handsome- I'm getting all flustered hearing about your arms and turning your body when you 'swing your driver'. Might have to go and lie down to compose myself
Wow, another great meeting with H. You sound really bouyant.. do you think thats becuase things are going well between you and him? I was amazed when you said "Yes, I don't know what's in H's mind. At this stage, though, I'd have to say I'm not too bothered."..
REALLY!??? You're not too bothered? How would you feel if (like my ex has) he stopped all these emails/texts/visits and your R with him changed and you didnt get to see him or know what he was up to week after week...? Would you feel upset?
I wouldnt wish that on you though, so hopefully its just hypothetical.
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Well, it was only in June/July that H stopped contacting me altogether and we only saw each other three times in 6 weeks, had very limited e-mail contact that was short and formal and I didn't know what he was up to or where he was. I was fine then, and I would be again- my happiness doesn't depend on him, but having good interactions with him is a plus. I'm not saying it'd be easy, but I'd get through it and come out OK.
I don't think the buoyancy is coming from the interactions with H- it's because I feel generally busy and fine in myself- work's going well, I'm GAL a lot and my life is moving forwards. I feel about the interactions with H as I do when I try and experiment and get a good result. It doesn't mean I stop the experiment- means I try the experiment again and increase my confidence in it. Similarly if the experiment didn't work, I'd just assess my protocol, tweak it and try again, a la Eddison inventing the lightbulb (he famously quoted that he'd found 10000 ways not to do it).
H not contacting me wouldn't mean the end (for me). It'd just mean I need to leave him alone and try and think of alternative strategies- tweak my protocol until I'm successful.
That was a very long answer when maybe only a short response was required. Anyway, hope it helps!
L. xx
PS. ((((Jeff))))) Yes- I'm detached. You know me so well!
Its just that when you say "I feel about the interactions with H as I do when I try and experiment and get a good result. It doesn't mean I stop the experiment- means I try the experiment again and increase my confidence in it."..it all sounds a bit... clinical? Intellectualised? Reasoned?
Wheres the feeling? The emotion? I've never heard you express real hurt/rage/fear/grief over the fact your H has been seeing someone else for a year. I'm sorry if I sound like I am pushing you a bit here, but its the same as the C thing.. you said you were reading a book to see if it would help you, but its not about taking in information?
Some of the things you say to him and ways you react to him... I'm just wondering if there is a clue in here somewhere as to one aspect of why you guys are still apart. Your DB coach even said to you to try being more real didnt she, or is that what she meant? To throw a bit more energy/feeling at him?
I suppose I am picking up over these months that you dont appear to be very in touch with your emotions as such, they are very rationalised and controlled. This talk of experiments and results. Wheres the pain ??? Wheres the tears??? I'm not saying its wrong, I'm just saying, things between you and your H seem measured, polite. And you seem to be operating somewhere above your centre, in your head? Or maybe I am reading it wrong from here, which is entirely possible!!
I'm remembering things you said about your family and how you never felt able to express your emotions around 4 (5?) brothers and your Dad, after you had sadly lost your Mum. And I guess we all wear masks in order to survive our families - mine is humour. I'm trying to think of something that might help your sitch?
But maybe really getting in touch with your emotions is the key to this somewhere and where the real pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is for you.
Oh and IMHO... I wouldnt text him at the weekend, I'd give him chance to miss you!!?
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
